Complications
by yokascruz
Summary: Faith has a secret involving Bosco but just as she's about to confess it to him, she discovers more than she bargained for
1. Complications

It scares me how complicated life can get. But it surprises me how much I'm able to handle the complications. Through my abortion, cancer, getting shot, and even losing my family, I'm still standing. I've dealt with a lot being a woman, a mother, a wife, and especially a cop. Sometimes they even all blend into one. Like four months ago when my husband left me for another woman. He did it because I wouldn't quit my job. I wasn't paying enough 'attention' to him because I was too busy trying to keep food on the table for my kids. He's never understood that being a cop is a part of who I am. But now that I think about it, being a cop cost me my family.

They gave him full custody. How can I trust a legal system that takes away kids from the only person who has supported them all these years? Fred was never reliable when it came to paying the bills. All these years, it's been me. But now he's got a new woman to take care of him, a rich lawyer from downtown. I haven't seen my kids in two and a half months. Right after Fred won custody he and that tramp moved my family to Oregon. Em and Charlie call when they can, but mostly they write letters. I miss them so much that sometimes it hurts to even breathe. I still can't believe Fred would do this to me. I hate him for it.

Then there's Bosco. The only person in my life that's stuck by me from the first day I met him. Since we passed the Academy together, he's always been a constant in my life, always looked out for me even if he doesn't realize how much he really cares. We've been through so much in the past year or so with Cruz and then with Donald Mann. It was rocky after I came back from getting shot, but then after Mikey's death, Rose, Fred's leaving and that shoot out in the hospital, our bond grew even stronger.

I remember that day in the hospital. Cruz and Davis were in the room with us when the gunman started shooting up the place. Bosco grabbed me and shoved me to the side, behind the wall Davis was hiding behind. Cruz was flat against the opposite wall, but still an open target. The gunman ceased fire on us then turned on her, Bosco was there though, he grabbed her and pulled her down, shooting the gunman with his second gun strapped to his leg.

A second gunman appeared, shooting Davis from behind, as he went down I turned and found myself staring down the barrel of a gun. I remember closing my eyes and hearing Bosco shouting my name. Two shots rang out and when I opened my eyes, the gunman was dead, Bosco was standing over his body, and Cruz was lying in front of me, a bullet wound to her chest. She stepped in front of that gun, God only knows why, but she did. She saved my life. I remember the way she looked at me when I was trying to stop the bleeding, all the dreadful things she had done since she came into our lives, her eyes told me she was sorry when her words never would.

Donald Mann had succeeded in taking Wynn, but I wouldn't let him take Cruz too. As much as I've hated her for so long, I couldn't turn my back on someone who stepped in front of a gun for me. Sully came into the room a few minutes later with Monroe. They told us they took out the other three gunmen. Doctors came in for Davis and Cruz. They both made it, even Rose did. And a month and a half later, my family moved to Oregon.

Bosco was there with me at every Court appearance. He was there every time I fell apart at work. But the night my family moved cross-country, he was there for me in a way he had never been before. I've never seen him more tender as he held me in his arms, gently stroking my hair as we made love. That night he comforted me, even if I was numb of any emotion, he was still there. After that night, things didn't get complicated; they actually got a lot better. We never got into any serious relationship, but we remained partners and once again, best friends. The complicated part was not until two and a half months later. Now, things have gotten a lot more complicated as I look down at the EPT in my hand and clearly see a blue line telling me once again that 'yes' I am pregnant. Now, is one of those times I want to grab a pillow and scream into it. Better yet, how bout I just go out and shoot something. I can't believe this is happening.

"Good of you to join us, Yokas." Lieu greets me as I make my way into roll call five minutes late. He doesn't seem too angry, probably because I'm hardly ever tardy. But the pregnancy test took longer than I thought it would, plus the fact that I had to wait till everyone left the locker room before I took it. I turn my attention back to the rows of desks in front of me, searching for that pair of familiar eyes.

"You okay?" Bosco leans over and asks me after I take the vacant seat next to him. I nod, and give him a reassuring smile. I quickly look away, not wanting my eyes to betray me. It's hard to get things pass him, he knows me too well. After staring back at me for a moment, he turns his attention back up front. I quietly breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know how I'm gonna tell him about this baby. I can't imagine how he'll react. I'm scared he won't want this baby, but then again, I know he'll support whatever I decide.

One thing's for sure though, I have to tell him sooner or later. I remember when I was pregnant a few years back and how I waited a while to tell Fred about it. Bosco was the one nagging me constantly to tell Fred because he believed the father of my baby had a right to know. The same applies in my current situation. Bosco has a right to know. And when Bosco finds out about it, I know that abortion won't be an option anymore. I don't think he'd want me going through that again, I don't think I want to go through that again.

"Eyes and ears out there." Lieu finally wraps up roll call, and I'm the first one out of there. It's a good thing Bosco still has to get his radio because some alone time outside with the fresh air sounds nice.

"Yokas!" There goes my fresh air idea. I turn at the sound of Cruz's voice. I smile politely as she approaches me and she returns with a little smirk of her own. Ever since that day in the hospital, Cruz and I haven't been butting heads as often as we used to. I'd say our working environment has surely improved. Forgive and forget, right? I'm still working on the forgetting part?

"Sarge?" I reply, keeping my tone causal as she comes to stand right in front of me.

Cruz starts explaining bout some narcotics case she's been working on. After we took down Donald Mann, she's been working to bring down all of his associates as well. Cruz isn't going to let any of them off the hook; she's been crazy hunting down every last one of them.

I'm not really paying attention to what she's saying to me because I can't stop thinking about how Bosco's gonna react. I don't know if he's even ready to be a father. Especially the father of 'my' baby. It's not like we've been seeing each other all these months, dating-wise. It was just one night.

"Sounds good." I'm agreeing with her after she's done talking and I don't know what the hell I'm agreeing to.

"So you'll take the collar?" She asks and I look at her bewildered. I open my mouth to apologize for not knowing what she wants from me, but Bosco interrupts us.

"What collar?" He asks as he comes up behind me. I notice that he sort of sets himself between Cruz and me. I guess he still doesn't trust her, even after she took a bullet for me. He hasn't forgotten what happened in that hotel room a year or so ago, but unlike me, he hasn't forgiven her either. That plus the fact that he still blames Mikey's death mostly on Cruz, doesn't help the situation.

Cruz swallow hard as her eyes meet Bosco's icy glare, "Anti-Crime's workin' another Ecstasy collar. We could use some Uniforms in on it. I thought maybe the two of you could help out tomorrow. Bust some dealers roaming the streets or somethin'."

"Why didn't you come to me first?"

"Yokas, was the first one I saw."

"You want us working 'together' on Anti-Crime?" I question, with emphasis on the word, together. I can't help the stunned expression that spreads across my face. Cruz has never pulled something like this before, last I thought, she couldn't stand being in the same room with Bosco and me. I can't deny not liking sharing the same room space with her either, but I guess things change.

"Look," she starts and I know this is difficult for her. Cruz has never been the type to openly express when she needs help, "I asked Lieu if he could loan me a few extra bodies like Sullivan or Davis to help out, but then he said you two were probably the better choice."

Bosco lets out a muffled chuckle and looks back at me, "Sullivan and Davis? Can you believe she actually thinks they can do a better job than us? Sully. Running."

I smile at Bosco's attempt at humor. I think Lieu would've preferred Sully and Davis working Anti-Crime because there's still a lot of hatred between Bosco and Cruz. Lately though, there's been more anger coming from Bosco's end than Cruz's. But then again, I can see why Lieu'd want to keep Davis on desk duty at least for a few more days. Davis just got back to work last week after being out for four months from the shot he took from one of Mann's guys.

"Yokas already agreed to it." Cruz tells Bosco when he looks at her again.

Bosco looks at me, needing my reassurance that I'm willing to work with Cruz. I've never really worked Anti-Crime before, but if Lieu agreed to it, I think I don't really have a choice in the matter.

"I did, Boz." I add in a little nod. I know all he really wants is my approval then he'll happily oblige. I haven't forgotten how much he loved the freedom of working Anti-Crime. He loved it so much, our partnership was almost lost forever. Almost. Not even Cruz can break up what we have now. Our bond is now stronger than ever. Hopefully, it'll be unbreakable after I tell him about this baby.

"You did?" He nods to me but it seems like he's nodding more to himself. HE doesn't meet Cruz's eyes again, instead he crosses his arms in front of his chest and stares down at the floor, "well, I guess that settles it."

"Good. Come up to the offices tomorrow out of Uniform." Cruz instructs us then walks away. Bosco glances at me before we silently make an exit out of the House. We're finally alone, a perfect time to tell him. He opens my door first, it's a rare gesture, but I don't complain. I don't get in the squad, I just watch him walk around to the driver's side.

"What's wrong?" He asks after noticing I wasn't getting into the car.

"Bosco, I've gotta tell you something."

"Okay." He closes his door and walks back around the car to me. I swallow, as I look down at my hands. It's then that I notice my hands are shaking, that's how nervous I am. "Faith, what's wrong? Are you okay? You get another letter from Em and Charlie?"

I shake my head, "no. Nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

I force myself to meet his eyes, "Bosco, I'm—."

"Maurcie!" I'm interrupted by someone, and I look pass Bosco to see Grace, the fairly new paramedic, running down the street toward us. Bosco turns toward her as well.

"Hey. What you doing here?" He asks as she nears us. She's got a silly smile on her face as she looks at Bosco, like she's never seen anything more beautiful in her life.

"I just wanted to see ya before you shipped off to work." She said, finally reaching him and to my completely and utter surprise, she wraps her arms around his neck and give him a kiss on his lips. Bosco pulls away first, glancing nervously at me before he backs away from her completely. She doesn't seem to notice because she still tries to get near him.

"Hi, Faith." She greets me. She starts talking to Bosco, but I'm completely numb right now. I barely notice the glances Bosco's giving me as he half-heartedly listens to Grace. "Well, I just wanted to say hi. See ya after work." She gives him another kiss and runs off.

Bosco runs his fingers through his hair and smiles innocently at me.

"So, you two seeing each other?" I ask, even though right now I'm having difficulty breathing.

"You could say that." He replies.

"Good for you. She's a nice girl." I lie.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

I can't. I can't say it. "I'm just glad you're gonna be with me working Anti-Crime tomorrow." I force a smile through clenched teeth. He smiles back.

"Of course. I wouldn't leave you alone with Cruz." He teases and then moves to the driver's side once again. I feel like crying, my heart is breaking, and I don't even know why. I think maybe this is one complication I'll have to deal with on my own.


	2. Complications2

I don't know too much about complications, only that my entire life has been one big complicated mess. From my growing up with a jagoff father to my brother's murder, nothing has ever been simple when it comes to the life and times of Officer Maurice Boscorelli. What can I say? I'm a trouble magnet. When I'm not out looking for trouble, I expect it'll come and fine me, biting me in the ass just for the fun of it. Like what happened with Cruz. It was nearly a year ago and I'm still kicking myself over it. It sickens me to think how many times I jumped into bed with that filth. I swear, she's evil incarnate. She's done nothing but complicate my life from the day we first met. She not only tried to turn me dirty and was I believe somehow responsible for Mikey's death, but to top it off she shot my partner. I don't care if Faith thinks Cruz redeemed herself. For me, I'll never forget all the shit she's done and I'll never forgive her for nearly taking Faith from me.

But if there's one person that ranks higher than Cruz on my shit list, it's Fred. Jagoff Number One if you ask me. Not only did he cheat on Faith, he took her to court, won custody of her kids, and then proceeded to move them all the way to the other side of the damn country. Lucky for Fred, Faith made me promise I'd leave him alone. But in a way, I guess Fred finally showing how truly jagoff-worthy he is, got me and Faith back on the right track. During that month and a half of custody battles, for the first time in our partnership she broke down to me, she let me be her rock, her source of strength. For too long she'd always be my safety net, I'm glad to have finally been hers. But the night she lost her family, I don't know what came over us but we actually slept together. She had told me she needed it, told me she needed to feel something again because losing her family left her completely numb. It was so much more than comfort sex for me. I never imagined I could ever feel that good, it was as if I was finally at peace with myself and up until that moment my complicated life was complicated no more. The next morning When I woke up, she was gone. I never really expected her to be there anyway. It was just a one time deal, no strings, nothing, it's what she needed from me, and I sure as hell wouldn't push the subject further. It's never came up since then, but I don't care because I finally got my partner back. Finally I got my Faith back.

It's been a week since Cruz asked us to work Anti-Crime. And a week since Faith has been, I hate to say it, distant. I know it's got something to do with Grace. Ever since that one time before work when Grace came and threw herself all over me, I think that's probably what did it. I'd been seeing Grace for about a month before Faith found out last week. It's not that I was trying to keep this thing I've got with Grace a secret, I just didn't want Faith thinking I'm gonna let Grace take up all of my off duty time now that I'm with her. I mean, I'm still gonna do the little midnight get-togethers I have with Faith every other night at the coffee house, And I'm still gonna drop by her place constantly to check if she's alright. But I really don't know why it would bother Faith that much if I'm dating Grace. I've dated a lot of women throughout the 12 or so years I've known Faith. Women come and go with me, but Faith has always been constant in my life, and that's saying something.

Though, I have to admit, this thing I got going with Grace, it's pretty nice. It's nothing like what I had with Cruz, but that's a good thing. With Cruz, I fell hard, And I fell fast. And I completely disregarded anything bad Faith would say about her. But with Grace, hell she saved Ma's life. I can never express how much I appreciate her for what she did. Maybe that's why I was always nice to her When I saw her around. I didn't think I'd end up dating her, but she's a great girl. And I'm really over that two week fling charade I used to do. I wanna have a serious relationship for the first time in my life. I wanna finally settle down, have a couple of kids. And I've gotta say, Grace is amazing.

"Six bastards down, one more to go." Cruz utters as she looks at the head shots of perps posted on the bulletin board in front of her. I can't stand being in the same room with this woman, I wish Faith would hurry up, she's taking forever in that damn bathroom. Cruz looks over her shoulder at me, a sly grin on her face, "what ya think, Boscorelli? Think you And Yokas can handle the last one?"

"Whatever, Sarge." I reply. I'm completely uninterested in anything she has to say to me right now. We haven't even left the Anti-Crime office because of Faith's sudden love for the bathroom, "if it'll help us wrap up this collar faster then you'll hear no complaining from me."

"Your girlfriend stopped by when you And Yokas were in the locker room." She tells me. I'm glad her back's to me because I can't help the stunned expression that spreads across my face. That was 20 minutes ago and only now she tells me. Boy, her And Grace must have had a pretty interesting conversation.

"She leave a message?" I ask casually, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back against the table behind me.

"Yeah, but I forgot to write it down." Cruz shrugs and starts to take down the pictures of the guys we already locked up. What's her deal? If she bad mouthed Grace, I'm gonna be pissed.

"What she want?" I push the matter. Why is Cruz even playing this game? She acts like she's the jealous wife or something. SHE throws away the pictures in her hands and then finally turns to look me straight in the eyes. I'm not the same person I was before, those eyes can't burn holes through me the way they used to. I'm not her lap dog anymore.

"By the looks of it, you found a keeper in that one." SHE says to me in an annoyingly sarcastic tone. Can she take that stick out of her ass for just a moment? "Just dropped by to pay her 'man' a visit. I told her she shouldn't have been allowed pass the front desk let alone step foot in my part of the House."

I nod my head, "it's official. I can't date anyone who isn't marked with Cruz Approval. I don't want you talking to Grace again."

"That her name? Wow, Faith And Grace, nice soulful names, aren't they?" She's trying to get under my skin, but hell if I'm gonna let her.

"Give me a break." I say and turn away from her. I walk out of the room and thank God, Faith is there When I turn the corner. Though, it's not the Faith that left me alone in the room with Cruz 15 minutes ago, instead, I see I very sick looking woman in front of me. My overly protective instincts immediately kick in as I lead Faith down stairs and out of the building. I think fresh air could do her some good. Come to think of it, Faith hasn't been looking quite well lately. She spends a lot of time in the bathroom And When she comes out she just smiles at me and says she's fine, When I can tell she's not. I'm not going to give it much thought right now because I'm only going to worry myself sick When I think of the worst.

"You okay?" I ask when we finally get outside. SHE nods as she pulls out a hair clip from her jacket pocket and twists her hair up into one of those elegant buns I've grown so used to seeing on her. "You sure, cause you left me in that room alone with her for a while." I tease, giving her a small smile. SHE looks at me, her eyes bright, but her face too weak to smile back. I'm getting really worried about her.

"What Cruz say?" she asks as she gets into the car, I reel around to the driver's side, explaining in as few words as possible, the essence of my conversation with Cruz. I leave out the part about Grace, I know hearing about her won't make things better for Faith. It seems like Faith's got something against Grace. I don't know, but When I was looking at Faith last night at the coffee house, I had a strange feeling that she's keeping something from me. SHE should know that one way or the other, I'm gonna find out. SHE can't keep things from me for long. The same way I can't keep things from her.

"So this last guy, Lord Mercado, is his name? Cruz wants us to deal with him, alone?" Faith asks as we drive past the fire station. I can't help a glance to see if Grace is there. I can't say I'm disappointed that she not.

"She's got her guys trying to find Mann's right hand, Rick Fuentes. I don't care if she expects us to do this alone, I'm just glad to be out of the HOUSE." We stop at a red light and I'm grateful for this time that I can stretch my aching back. I let out a long yawn, feeling my eyes tearing up because of it.

"You've been working night And day on this collar, maybe you should just take a day off or something," Faith suggests. I look at her, seeing the slight bags under her eyes, And I can't help but respect her more than I already do. She's still concerned about me even when it's her that looks like hell. It's her motherly instincts again.

"I told you, I'm not leaving you alone With Cruz." I'm glad she nods her head in agreement because I really don't want to argue with her on the matter. I'm tired, she's tired, but together we're still one great cop, right?

We ride in silence for a few minutes, I glance a few times at Faith. She's just staring out the window. Sometimes I wish I could read her mind, I want to know what's going on in that head of hers. Then the last time I glance at her, she sits up in her seat, staring at something outside along the sidewalk. I follow her eyes till I see what she's looking at. It's Lord Mercado, and he just spotted us. He takes off down the street.

"Dammit." I hiss under my breath as I speed up, trying to cut him off. Faith should be the one driving, I should be the one ready to jump out of the car and run after that jagoff.

"Stop the car, Bosco." She orders When Mercado takes a turn into a back alley. I've got no choice but to listen to her and as soon as I pull up to the curb she gets out and starts after him. I call after her as I shift the car into park and jump out. I make my way around the car and curse at myself when Faith is no longer in my sight. When did she start running so fast?

I shout into my radio for back up, but I know Cruz won't be here for a good 10 minutes. She's probably still sitting on her ass back at the House. I call into my radio for Faith, my heart racing. I can't help but panic when she's out of my sight, especially when she doesn't answer me. Why is there so many damn back alleys in this city? I turn a corner And I finally see Faith, hunched over in a dead end alley.

"Faith!" I call out to her, grateful when she turns around And looks at me. She's breathing deeply, and sweat trickles from her hairline. Other than that, she seems okay.

"I lost--him." She tells me, between breaths. I nod, but my eyes still search the area, my gun firmly in my grasp. I don't want to take any chances that Mercado's still hiding somewhere. But my attention quickly turns back to Faith when she hunches over a trash can and starts throwing up.

I move behind her and gently run my hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her.

"I shouldn't have run so hard." She tells me as I give her a napkin from my back pocket. She thanks me and wipes her mouth. "Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"The last time you threw up like this you were--," I stop myself, my eyes widening and realization washing over me as I look at her. How could I have been so blind? HOW could I have not known? She's been so distant lately, always in the bathroom, always uncomfortable when it comes to Grace. Faith's looking at me with a horrified expression, she knows I know.

"Boz." she utters but I'm not looking at her anymore. I'm looking down at the ground, speechless.

"--you were pregnant." I finish, just above a whisper, my mouth still hung open. I can't believe this. This is her secret, I know she was keeping something from me. I snap out of it, trying to find the right words to say. I look up and notice Faith's eyes are now looking pass me. In her eyes I see the same fear I saw that day in the hospital right before...

I turn around just as Faith screams fro me to get down. I see Mercado, he's holding a gun pointed straight at me. Before I can react, I'm suddenly shoved to the side. My world completely falls apart as I turn And watch two bullets take Faith to the ground.


	3. Complications3

A split second after I go down, I hear another gun go off and I know it's Bosco taking out Mercado. I try to breathe but it's like the air isn't reaching my lungs. I don't know where I was hit because my entire body is on fire. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. I hear Bosco shouting a 10-13 into his radio.

"Faith!" Bosco's suddenly over me, his face ghostly white as he frantically lifts my shirt to check if the bullets penetrated my vest. I know they didn't, but my body still hurts like hell. Bosco looks scared, but when his hand comes up from under my vest, dry, the creases on his forehead lesson a bit.

"Bosc—," I try to sit up, but pain suddenly courses through my chest and I lie back down.

"Take it easy, don't move." He tells me. I feel him slip his fingers through mine, but his features turn suddenly pale and angry, "dammit, Faith!"

He's angry with me but even more disappointed with himself because I took the bullets for him, and I'm the one with possible broken ribs. I know he's wearing a vest too; I shoved him to the side without even giving the consequences a second thought. It was purely a reflex; he can't blame me for that because I already blame myself. He would've done the same thing if he had been the one to see Mercado first.

"Bosco! Faith! Where are you?" I hear Sully's voice in the distance, getting closer. I knew they'd answer the call first; Cruz and her guys were still at the House when we left not too long ago. I wonder how Sully's coping with the new 'fresh from the Academy' partner he's been assigned to work with while Davis is still on desk duty. I'm so used to seeing Sully and Davis together that it's weird when I catch a glimpse of the petite kid coming up behind Sully.

"Over here!" Bosco calls back.

"What happened?" Sully's now hunched over me too, a worried expression on his face as well. His presence relieves me a little, at least now there's someone else to cover for Bosco if there so happens to be another perp hiding around somewhere. But I sincerely doubt it.

"Bastard shot her." Bosco informs Sully, gesturing at Mercado's lifeless body a few feet away from us. "I called for back up."

"Yeah, well here we are. Cruz called into us since we were already in the area, she just left the House a few minutes ago."

"Sonofabitch." Bosco's frustrated and I completely understand, but it was really my agreeing to work Anti-Crime that got us into this mess in the first place. I hate when he blames himself for every bad thing that happens to me. This was not his fault, I'd tell him that if my head didn't hurt so much from falling back on it.

"Griffin," Sully turns back to the rookie hovering over Mercado's body, "go flag down the bus, it'll be here any minute." Sully tells him. Oh, God. Something's not right. I feel a sudden sharp pain in my stomach. It stings worse than the bullets that hit me. As I run my hand down my vest I feel a third bullet in the area where I'm really starting to cramp. It's a pain I've never felt before, tears come to my eyes as I try to blink them away. Oh, God, no. Not my baby.

"Faith?" Bosco looks down at me, fear once again creasing his strong features. "What's wrong?"

I open my mouth to answer but only a few agonizing breaths come out. Then he notices that I'm holding my stomach and that's when he starts to panic.

"No." I hear him breathe as he stares down at my hand. He sees the third bullet I felt lodged in my vest, "is it the—?" I nod before he can finish his question, and I watch, as the life seems to drain from his face.

"It hurts." I gasp, "something's wrong—Bosco."

"Where's the damn bus?" Bosco cries, his hold on my hand tightens. He leans forward so that his face is only inches from mine, "hold on, Faith. I'm not going to lose you—or this baby," he whispers so that only I can hear him. I feel a tear escape my eye and Bosco tenderly wipes it away. Just by looking at him right now, I know how much he really cares about me.

"Is that Yokas?" I hear Carlos's voice.

"She's been shot." Sully tells him as he backs away and Carlos fills the vacant space next to me.

"Did any bullet penetrate?" Carlos questions, checking my vital signs and gently pressing his fingers to different parts of my shoulders and neck. I suck in deep breaths, what's happening?

"No, the vest stopped them all, but—," Bosco starts to explain, but hesitates as he meets my eyes once again. Carlos is still staring at him, waiting for an answer.

"But what?" Carlos asks, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Bosco's eyes return to Carlos, "—she's pregnant."

Carlos takes in this information and nods. He looks back down at me, his features a little less tense, "where does it hurt?" He asks and I move my hand to my lower abdomen and he frowns slightly. He looks over his shoulder, "Grace, where the hell is the gurney?"

"Sorry, it's hard getting it through all this garbage!" She shouts back, sounding just as frustrated as Carlos. She hurries to us but her eyes widened with concern when she sees Bosco. "Maurice, are you—?"

"I'm fine," Bosco cuts her off, "just help, Faith."

Grace is stunned by the harshness in his voice. She recovers quickly though, and kneels next to Carlos, her eyes still focused on Bosco. HE doesn't seem to notice, his eyes are locked with mine. And I try hard to keep my focus on him. I'm starting to feel light-headed from the pain and Carlos isn't going to give me anything for fear of harming the baby further.

"Just relax, Faith." Carlos tells me as he and Bosco move me onto the stretcher. Grace gently straps a neck brace and puts an oxygen mask on me as we start toward the bus.

"We'll take care of Mercado." I hear Sully tell Bosco. From the corner of my eye I see Bosco mouthed a silent 'thank you' before Sully takes off with his temporary partner in tow. Grace opens the door to the bus and waits while Carlos and Bosco roll me in. Grace starts inside, but Carlos pulls her back.

"You drive." He orders.

"What? Why?" She looks slightly perplexed.

"Just go, Grace!" Carlos snaps before he jumps into the back of the bus. I see Grace steal a glance at Bosco one last time before she runs around to the driver's side. Bosco gets in the back with me and closes the doors. Carlos looks down at me, "how you doing, Faith?"

I can't respond, the pain is too intense. My fingers tighten around Bosco's as a new wave of agonizing cramps take over and my lungs all of a sudden start to burn. I feel suffocated and I pull off the oxygen mask covering my nose and mouth. That's when I start to cough. And every time I do, my chest hurts even more.

"Faith, you gotta keep the mask on." Carlos tells me, putting it back on me. I shake my head, but he holds it in place. When I cough again, I feel something we trickle from the sides of my mouth. "Dammit, she's coughing up blood, Grace. Hurry it up!" Carlos calls into Mercy, informing them of my condition and the fact that I'm pregnant. He keeps his voice low and hushed, not wanting to spread the new of my pregnancy to Grace too soon. I'm at least grateful for that.

"What's going on, what's happening?" Bosco questions, "why's she coughing up blood?"

"I think the impact of the bullets caused more damage than we thought, she's bleeding internally—," Carlos starts to say, but then his voice seems to grow faint. My vision starts to blur, I can't make out their faces anymore. I hear Bosco saying my name; I hear the panic in his voice. I want to respond, but I can't, my eyelids are too heavy. I'm too tired. I slowly close my eyes as everything finally fades into darkness.


	4. Complications4

This can't be happening. Faith can't be lying here in front of me, fighting for her life and for the life inside of her. I want her to open her yes; I want her to tell me everything's going to be okay because I'd believe her. I trust anything she tells me. I don't want to see her here; I don't want this to be happening to us. We've had too many complications in the past for us to be hit with another one. And this one hits home. She's not showing yet; the timings right. I know in my heart that this baby is mine. I should've seen the signs, should've realized what they meant earlier, then I'd have her on desk duty, far from the danger on the streets. I know she would've fought me on it, she hates working the desk, but I don't care, the life of her child is far more important.

Why didn't you let me take those bullets? I have a goddamn vest on too, Faith! Why do you have to care so much about me? Why'd you do it when you know there's a chance of hurting this baby?

"ETA, 2 minutes." Grace says from the front, "how's she doing?"

"She's unconscious and her vitals are dropping." Carlos tells her, and I hold my breath for a moment. You hold on, Faith, you have to make it so I can kick your ass later for doing something so foolish.

"Is she going to be okay?" I manage to say, even though I really don't want to hear the answer to my question. For fear it's not gonna be good.

Carlos glances at me for a brief moment, "we'll know once we get to Mercy. The worst is possible hemorrhaging," he says right before he sticks a needle in Faith's shoulder, injecting her with a clear liquid.

All this from being shot? I can't believe it's this serious. Faith and I have taken bullets in the vest before, we never did bleed internally or anything as critical as possible hemorrhaging. What's going on? Faith's heart rate and blood pressure seem to be improving from whatever Carlos just injected into her. As I look at the man in front of me, I thank God that he's here. Since Doc took a turn for the worst, and Kim left to be with lover boy Jimmy, Carlos is the damn best Paramedic the 55 has to offer. And I know he's doing all he can for Faith.

We finally reach Mercy. I linger close behind Carlos and Grace as they take Faith into Emergency. Mary Proctor's there to greet us and we follow her to the nearest trauma room. Once Carlos makes sure the doctors have her, he turns and leaves the room, thankfully taking Grace with him.

"She's pregnant," I say over Mary's shoulder, trying to get a look at Faith if I can.

"What?" Mary's stunned as she turns back to me, "how far along is she?"

I shrug, "I really don't know."

"Sir, we need you to wait outside." A tall, lanky doctor tells me. I stare back at him. I'm so completely drained emotionally that I can't seem to get my legs to move. I don't want to leave her. I can't leave Faith to fight this alone.

Mary's suddenly taking me by the arm and escorting me out of the room, "she's in good hands, Boscorelli." She tells me before returning to work on Faith. I thought she was in good hands when she was with me, but I turned out to be wrong. How could I let this happen? It could've been prevented, I could've prevented it.

I turn from the scene in front of me, I don't want to see the heart monitor with two heart beats on it, one stronger than the other. I don't want to see the tubes being stuck into her, I don't want to see the distress in the faces of the doctors trying to save her life.

"Maurice." I look up to see Grace standing in front of me. I forgot she was even here. She takes me by the hand and starts to lead me to the nearest chair, "you should really sit down."

"No, I'm good." I pull my hand from her grasp. I don't mean to be rude or anything, I just want to stay as close as I can to Faith right now. Grace doesn't seem to understand that, that's why she takes offense to the gesture, looking as if I hurt her feelings or something. Give me a break, I can't deal with this now.

"Bosco!" Before I can say anything to Grace I turn at the sound of Cruz's voice. I see her coming through the Emergency doors, her guys following close behind her. And I thought my day couldn't get any worse. "Is that Yokas?" She asks, trying to look over my shoulder when she finally reaches me. Don't even pretend to care, Faith.

"Yeah. Mercado shot her." I tell her.

"What the hell happened?" She hisses at me.

"What the hell happened?" I repeat, anger rising in me as I step forward so that I'm right in her face, "what happened is that our back up didn't show in time because they were to busy sitting on their asses back at the Station."

"We were looking for Fuentes." Cruz says, giving me the lamest excuse she can make up. I can't help the laugh that escapes me.

"All eight of you?" I counter, looking at every single on of her guys standing around us. Bunch of useless jagoffs they turned out to be today, "Sully had to come, but even he wasn't there on time. But I don't blame him, oh, no. I blame you, you should've been there."

"There you go." Cruz throws her hands up in the air, turning away from me, "blaming me again for every shit situation you get yourself into. Give it up, Boscorelli. I told you we were gonna look for Fuentes, you decided to go after Mercado on your own."

Am I hearing her right? She's the one who wanted me and Faith to handle Mercado alone. I can't believe she's blaming this on me. When someone in Anti-Crime needs back up, they get it from there own. Today, we had to get backup from Sully, who's in Uniform. She's only doing this for her own benefit, she likes to draw attention to herself, look like a god in front of those lap dogs of hers. I hate her so much right now I'm thinking I don't care if she's a woman, she deserves a beating.

I remain silent as Cruz steps up to me again, her face only inches from mine. I force myself to look at her. "You still don't know how to get the job done. You're a disappointment. You ain't puttin' this one on me. This time, it was all you."

Before I can stop myself, I shove her back. Two of her guys catch her while the other five come after me, restraining me from doing any further damage to her. Can't blame a guy for trying, right?

"You're a piece of work, Cruz. You know that?" I curse at her, but I'm having no luck getting pass the five pairs of arms holding me back. "Get the hell off me." I break free and step back, still glaring at that bitch.

"What you gonna do tough guy? Huh? You gonna hit me?" Cruz taunts, oh, she's asking for it.

"He doesn't have to." Grace is suddenly in this as she steps in front of me and bashes Cruz right across her nasty face. Cruz is thrown off balance and goes down hard. I'd break out laughing if I wasn't so shocked at what I just witnessed.

Two of Cruz's guys advance on Grace but I pull her back. Stepping in front of her so those jagoffs can't touch her. Cruz's expression is classic, she is too stunned for words as she looks up at Grace.

"Stupid, bitch." Cruz curses when she gets back on her feet, even more pissed off than she was moments ago, if that's possible. "You gonna pay for that—."

"Want some more?" Grace jeers, stepping toward Cruz.

"She's not worth it," I say as pull Grace back again. She stands next to me, her eyes still fixed on Cruz. This is definitely a side of Grace I haven't seen before.

"You takin' me by surprise like that—you got some real balls, girl." Cruz wipes the blood from her lip, "that's assaulting a Police Officer. You all saw it, didn't you boys?" Cruz looks around at her team, all of them nodding in agreement. I hate that we're so out numbered here.

"Just let it go, Cruz. It's over." I tell her. I really don't have time for this BS. My main concern right now is Faith. And the fact that I don't want Grace involved in anything Cruz related. I already got my partner shot, I'm not going to let Cruz hurt any one else I care about.

"This ain't over, Boscorelli." Cruz says before exiting with her entourage in tow. And people say their lives are complicated.

"That woman is such a bitch." Grace tells me and I just nod, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I can't keep this up, I've gotta tell her about Faith and this baby. But when I look into her eyes, those trusting eyes of the woman in front of me, the words get caught in my throat.

"What is it?" she asks moving closer to me.

I have to do this, she's gotta right to know I'm gonna be a father to someone else's child. A father. I still can't believe it.

"We need to talk—," I start but then I see Carlos running toward us.

"Grace, we gotta call." He says, "let's go."

Fate works in mysterious ways. Grace turns back to me and gives me a quick kiss, "we'll talk later." She says before hurrying after Carlos. I watch her leave with a mixture of guilt and relief. I was hoping to tell her about Faith sooner than later, but then again, I have no idea how I'm gonna tell her. I was never good with words and verbalizing them, but that part of my life has always been easy when it comes to Faith. Most times she knows what I'm thinking and feeling without me having to say anything. Sometimes talking makes matters worse, and that's definitely what I don't want happening.

"Boscorelli." It's Mary again, coming out of the trauma room. I study her face, her expression is grim, sadness written on her every feature. Whatever she's gonna tell me can't be good.

"How is she?" I ask.

"Bosco, maybe we should sit down."

Don't give me that crap, just tell me how she is.

"I'm fine. Is she okay?" I can't believe Mary won't just give me a straight answer.

I stop breathing when she shakes her head, "she has a severe concussion to the head, probably when she hit the ground. The impact of the bullets uncharacteristically caused some internal bleeding—she started hemorrhaging—the doctors did the best they could, but—she's gone into a coma."

"And the baby?"

"I'm afraid that—," she voice falters as she looks down at her hands.

"That, what? What's wrong, Mary?"

"—I'm afraid that we can only save one of them. There's severe swelling and it doesn't look good."

I'm at a lost for words as my eyes return to look pass Mary and into the trauma room. Faith's the most important thing in my life, I can't lose her. I refuse to believe this. I can't make this decision for Faith because for me right now, what I'm hearing from Mary is that she wants me to give the 'okay' to terminate Faith's pregnancy. Of course I want Faith to live, but I don't want her living knowing that I was the one responsible for killing her baby. Our baby.

"I need a 'yes' from you, Bosco." Mary won't even give me time to think.

"Can't—isn't there a chance that—that you can save both of them? You know, if the swelling goes down." I have to ask.

She sighs deeply and locks eyes with me, "the way things look right now—I'll be honest with you, it doesn't look good. Given that she's in a coma—well, we can't wait for long. You're gonna have to decide soon."

"Could I see her?"

"For a little while," Mary touches my arm lightly when I pass her and I look back, "come out with an answer." I nod before turning back around and slowly entering Faith's room.


	5. Complications5

Bosco's a hell of a shot that's for sure, got Mercado right between the eyes. Sonofabitch never had a chance after shooting Faith. I offered to take this collar from Bosco, get it off his hands, because now that Mercado's dead there's gonna be a whole lotta paper work and Bosco's gonna be too busy worrying about Faith. Griffin's not much help either. When I dropped him off at the House he said he'd be taking the next couple of days off. I don't blame him, he practically threw up all over the RMP after seeing Mercado's body. He wanted to go back to the House to take a shower and call it a day. What can I say? Some people just aren't cut out for this line of work. Instead of helping situations, they make matters worse. Griffin's one of those guys, hell, he's Gustler junior if you ask me.

I hope Davis gets off desk duty soon. As much as I like riding solo, I miss my partner. But I agree with Lieu, Davis should take all the time he needs to recuperate. Thinking back on that day when those gunmen showed up at Mercy, it makes my skin crawl. Lucky I was carrying my off duty gun, and lucky Monroe noticed them running down the hall to Bosco's mom's room. I practically lived at Mercy for the couple of weeks Davis was in there after being shot. Monroe helped out a lot with Maggie, taking her home late at night, making sure she got some sleep, and even made sure she was eating. If that doesn't say, daughter-in-law, I don't know what does. The thought of losing her son, hit Maggie hard, but she wasn't the only one. I can't begin to imagine how my life would be like without Davis. That's why I was so set on him making it, the latter is unthinkable.

Well, this time Davis isn't the one in the hospital bed, it's Faith, and I think I can somewhat imagine what Bosco's going through right now. I was surprised when I got the call over the radio from Cruz. She sounded upset and I don't blame her. She left two members of her team without back up. I don't know why Lieu wanted her and Bosco working together to begin with. Those two have been at each other's throats for months now.

I called in before I came here. Mary said Faith's in a coma. I couldn't believe it when she told me. How can three bullets do that? None of them penetrated the vest, it's unbelievable how much damage was done. I've known Faith since she and Bosco came out of the Academy together and joined the 55. I know we haven't been as close as I am to Davis or the way she is with Bosco, but we've been through a lot over the years. 55-Charlie and 55-David have always been somewhat of an action tag team. We're each others back up most of the time, and when Faith and Bosco get into one of their 'old married couple' spats, one of them usually ends up riding with me. Even in her early days when she rode with me a few times, I respected her. Not many rookie cops get that from me. But she was different. She's got a good head on her shoulders, she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I guess that's what has allowed her to put up with Bosco all these years. She saw something in him that everyone couldn't, or refused to see. She saw pass his tough guy, super cop, exterior and found a person that she wants to take care of. A person who needs to be taken care of. That's why she mothers him so much.

As I walk through the Emergency sliding doors, I realize how it's never quiet here. There's always one complication after another at Mercy, never a day's rest. I see Mary behind the front desk, and I start toward her.

"Sully, you're here." Mary says, a surprised expression on her face when I arrive at the desk. She smiles politely, and I can't help but notice how tired her eyes are. She looks worn out and it's not even half way into her shift.

"Yeah, hi, Mary. I know we talked over the phone, I just wanted to come by and see her." I tell Mary as she nods her understanding, "where is she?"

"Down the hall, 102. Boscorelli's with her."

"Thanks, Mary."

"No problem, Sully." She says before I turn away and head slowly down the hall. I don't know why, but I'm kinda nervous to see Faith. I haven't really spoken to her much recently, ever since her and Fred gotta divorce, she's been quiet, always keeping to herself. Bosco's probably the only one she confides in, only one she really trusts. As I near Room 102, I can faintly hear Bosco's voice. I stop in the doorway of the room when I arrive, remaining there, as I witness the scene before me.

I was never much for eavesdropping, but something freezes me in place. Bosco's back is to me as he sits at Faith's bedside. It reminds me of the way I sat next to Davis's bedside day in, day out. He's slouched over and his hand is resting lightly on hers. Faith's so pale, I can't believe the woman in that bed is really her. I remain silent, listening to Bosco.

"—I need you to wake up, Faith. I need you to tell me what to do—," his voice cracks slightly, "I'll do anything you want—but I need you to wake up and tell me. I can't decide this on my own—."

I wonder what he's talking about, but before he says anything else Bosco breaks down, burying his face in Faith's hair. He wraps his arms around her the best he can and just pleads with her to hear him. I thought I lost my compassion, my sympathy, my emotion, but I was wrong because what I see right now is enough to bring tears to my eyes. It takes him a few minutes to regain his composure.

"I can't do this—," he starts again, pulling back and wiping his eyes, "not only because I'm scared to death you won't forgive me—I can't do this because—because I know I'll never forgive myself. You know me, I've always been a screw up. But you Faith, you've always been there to clean up the mess, always there to make sure I was all right—you've always helped me. And when you didn't care, you did. I don't deserve to have someone like you—I don't."

If I had heard him say that a few years ago I'd agree with him. I would have thought, of course he doesn't deserve her. But over the years, things changed. So did my opinion. I don't know the gravity of how deeply he cares for her, but I know he does. It's obvious. I saw it first hand that day when he was willing to throw his life away and go to jail, just as long as Faith was all right. How's that for loyalty? But it hasn't really occurred to me until now, that, well, he loves her. I'm not sure if he's in love with her, but I know he loves her. That's why he's crying, that's why he's pouring his heart and soul out to her, even if she's not awake, he knows she can hear him. They complement each other, that's just the way they work. I even like to think sometimes that she's his sanity, the only thing holding him back from completely losing it.

"If there was another way, if I could save you both, you know I would—I'm so sorry. I'm sorry—even when I know 'sorry' isn't gonna be enough." There he goes, blaming himself again. "I have to do this—I can't lose you, Faith—not you and as happy as I know this baby would've made you—for my own selfish reasons—I just—I need you." Baby? Wait. What baby? I think I've heard way more than I should've. I clear my throat to get Bosco's attention.

He turns around and looks at me and for the first time I see the redness in his eyes.

"Hey," I greet innocently, trying not to let him think I overheard anything. He gets out of the chair and walks over to me. "I wanted to stop by, see how she was doing."

"Don't worry bout the collar, I'll handle everything." I tell him, hoping to give him at least a little relief.

"Thanks, Sul." He utters as he turns his head so he can look back at Faith. He sighs heavily and then looks back at me, "she's in a coma."

"I know. Mary told me over the phone on my way here." I stuff my hands into my pockets. I don't know what else to do with them. I don't think Bosco would feel comfortable if I pull him into a friendly hug and tell him he can cry on my shoulder if he wants to. The only shoulder he'd let himself cry on is Faith's and she's not up for that at the moment. That's why he's like this, that's why he looks so broken and fragile.

"The doctors are hoping to get her into surgery as soon as—," he stops himself and I know the reason has to be related to this baby he was talking about a few minutes ago.

"Well, let's hope it goes well." I say to him. I don't want him feeling like he has to finish his sentence. If he's not comfortable with whatever's going on with Faith, then I sure don't need to know about it. It's probably something personal, something between him and Faith.

"Yeah." Bosco runs his fingers through his hair, and looks down.

"Boscorelli," It's Mary, she glances briefly at me before returning her attention to Bosco, "you ready?" Bosco looks at her, something changing in his eyes. A few seconds ago he was just frail and broken, now he's completely lifeless. There's nothing in his eyes as I look at him. It's as if he's empty inside and I'm clue less as to why.

Bosco opens his mouth to speak but ends up just nodding. I feel for the guy, I really do. This is so wrong, it's not fair, for both of them. Bosco and Faith have been through so much in the past year, this is just on more problem they're facing. At least they're in this one together. But then again, I really can't imagine them not having one another in times of need.

"I'll call the doctor." Mary says and then turns to leave. Bosco and I walk out into the hall. He leans back against the wall and I remain near the doorway to Faith's room. He looks tired, his eyes half closed as he stares off into the distance.

"Did you go by the House?" He asks, breaking the silence that was starting to get a bit uncomfortable.

"Yeah."

"Was Cruz there?"

"Sure was. She was going in when I was leaving. Marched herself right up to her office and slammed the door. Lieu went and talked to her, I heard her saying something about filing assault charges on someone, I don't know, she sounded pretty pissed off." I tell him, "did she come by here?"

"Wouldn't be Cruz if she didn't show up here, rubbing it in my face how this is my fault." Bosco tells me, "assault charges, really?"

Oh no. "Yeah, why? You didn't hit her did you?"

Bosco smirks, and I'm glad to have cheered him up, at least a little. "No, but I can't say I didn't think about it."

"It's a good thing you didn't. Lieu wants to speak with you, I think he might come down here later, if he's not already on his way. You okay, here? I can stay and hang out for a while." I offer. I don't think he should be alone at a time like this. He needs a friend, I'm willing to be that friend if he lets me. I've known him for too long not to care.

"Nah, I'm good." He lies. Before I can protest, a tall, lanky man arrives, behind him is Mary.

"Which one of you is Officer Boscorelli?" He asks looking from me to Bosco. Bosco steps forward, crossing his arms in front of his chest as the doctor turns to him, "I'm Dr. McMillian. I'm handling your partner's—."

"Good." Bosco interrupts the doctor, glancing nervously at me, "just do it."

"Okay." The doctor steps pass Bosco and into the room. I watch from the doorway as the doctor pulls out a syringe and a bottle of yellowish liquid. He fills the needle with the liquid then moves to inject it into Faith.

The three of us are outside, watching the doctor do his thing. I know now what's been eating him up inside. It's the baby, he had to give the 'okay' to terminate it. It's the only way to insure Faith's survival. I can't imagine how this much be eating him up inside.

"She won't feel anything Boscorelli." Mary assures him. My eyes turn to Bosco, he swallows hard, his full attention on Faith. Mary's words seem to have had an effect on him.

"Not physically." He whispers a reply. A tear falls from his eye and he quickly wipes it away. "It's not fair. I just found out—I didn't even have time to—to let it sink in. I didn't have time to even be happy about it."

"I know." I put my hand on his shoulder, offer my support.

Just as the doctor's about to inject the liquid into Faith, Bosco pounds on the glass, obviously seeing something I wasn't.

"Wait!" He shouts, "Don't do it!"

"Bosco, he has to." I tell him, but then his eyes lock with mine.

"No, you don't understand. She's awake."


	6. Complications6

My head is throbbing. The shouting I hear doesn't help. I think it's Bosco, sounds like him. Why is he shouting at me? Where am I? I will my eyes to open, and thankfully they do, my vision in blurry but I think I see a white ceiling above me. I hear the slow beating of my heart on the monitor to my left. I think I'm in a hospital and there's a strange man standing next to me, holding a syringe. Bosco hates needles, and right now, seeing that needle, I hate them too. I can't think. Everything's hazy, why am I here? Some more shouting and that needle is getting closer to me. Get it away, I don't need whatever he's gonna inject into me.

"She's awake!" It's definitely Bosco, I think he's shouting at this man next to me. The man doesn't seem to notice, he's lowering the needle, bringing it closer to me. Get away, didn't you hear Bosco? I'm awake. I open my mouth to tell him but no words come out. I move my hand to knock that needle away, but I realize my hand is still limp at my side. I can't move, I can't be paralyzed can I? No, I'm not. It's fatigue, a bad case of it. I hope.

No, I feel the tip of the needle on my skin. Bosco's suddenly above me, knocking the needle from the man's hand. As my vision starts to clear I realize the man is a doctor. Why did Bosco prevent him from helping me? No, Bosco would never do that. This man must be trying to hurt me.

"Faith." Bosco's voice is gentle, his fingers lightly touching my cheek. I force myself to look at him; it's getting easier to focus. I see tears in his eyes, but he's smiling down at me. My blink a few times, my vision starting to clear. As I look into Bosco's eyes, I see everything I need to know. In one quick rush I remember everything, chasing Mercado, seeing him pointing a gun at Bosco, shoving Bosco to the side, hitting the ground hard, my baby. Oh, my God, my baby! I move to sit up, but Bosco holds me down, "relax, Faith. Don't move."

I shake my head the best I can, my hand going to rest on my lower abdomen. Bosco knows what I'm talking about; he nods and looks back at me.

"Everything's going to be okay." Bosco tells me, and I believe him. But then the doctor next to me comes into view.

"Officer Yokas, I'm Dr. Macmillan. Although the swelling in the area of your uterus has lessened, it's not a guarantee that we can operate and at the same time save the life of your child." As he tells me this I can see the anger in Bosco's eyes as he looks across of me and at the doctor. That's why Bosco stopped the doctor, he was trying to kill my baby. Our baby. Swelling? I'm fine, there's nothing wrong. If there is I don't care, I can't lose this baby.

"Wait," Bosco interrupts, "the swelling went down? You didn't say that before."

"I didn't?"

"No. If the swelling's gone down, why operate?"

"Because there's a better chance of recovery, with fewer complications. If we can operate then there's a guarantee that she will be okay, if we don't; we're gambling with possible hemorrhaging. I thought this was explained to you earlier."

Bosco shakes his head, "it wasn't—so what you're saying is that there's a chance that you can save Faith and her baby?"

"What I'm saying is that," the doctor seems frustrated, "if we don't operate, there's a better chance of you losing them both."

I watch Bosco close his eyes, the last bit of hope he had left diminishing; I've never seen him so defeated like this before. As I look at him, the worst sort of guilt comes over me. I caused this. I caused this pain, this war he's waging inside of himself. He knows I'm pregnant, he thinks he's the father. That's why this is hitting him so hard. I know he loved this child the minute he found out I was pregnant. But how is that fair to him?

For a week now, all I've been thinking about is how unfair this is to Bosco. It was one night that we had, one night, and the outcome was this baby. I can't ask him to drop everything and be a father. I don't think he's ready for that, or at least he's not ready for that with me. Especially after seeing him with Grace. I see the smiles he tries to hide from me when she comes around. I think she makes him happy, genuinely happy, for the first time in a long time, he's got a relationship that he wants to make work. Grace is good for him, how can I ask him to give her up? How can I ask him to chose? I don't have it in me.

"If you chose not to operate, then we'll have to wait it out and hope for the best." The doctor explains, "but I strongly advise the surgery."

"It's your choice, Faith." Bosco tells me. I feel his hand slip through my fingers, his eyes never leaving mine. I don't know what I'd do right now if he wasn't here. He's been my main source of strength since Fred left. But I still have this sinking feeling in my gut, telling me to stop being selfish and let him live his own life. I've been a burden to him for too long now, I owe him so much more than that.

"I'm keeping this baby." I say, hoping I made the right decision. But then again there wasn't really a choice for me. It's this baby or nothing. I see the disappointment on the doctor's face as he looks at me. After a few seconds he nods, mostly to himself.

"Very well. We'll see how things turn out. In about an hour or so we have to take you up for more scans. Let's hope for the best." The doctor gives me a confidant smile and walks out of the room. My eyes follow him to the door where I see Sully walking away with Proctor. Bosco and I are left in silence. He's staring down at the floor, I'm trying not to stare down at our joined hands.

I have to break this silence, I open my mouth to speak, but Bosco speaks first.

"Faith," he says, looking back at me, "—I don't want you doing anything like this again." I can't say this surprises me. I did take those bullets without even thinking it could harm my baby. I protected him without thinking of the consequences. I don't blame him for being angry, but can he really blame me for caring about him?

"Bosco, I—."

A knock on the door to the room interrupts me as I look to see Lieu standing in the doorway to the room. He smiles when he sees me.

"How we doing?" Lieu asks walking up to my bedside, opposite of Bosco.

"Fantastic," I say, getting a small chuckle out of Lieu.

"Sorry to do this, Faith," Lieu starts, putting his hand on Bosco's shoulder, "but I need to borrow Boscorelli for a few minutes. Is that okay?"

"Of course, sir." I reply. Can I really say 'no'? Bosco flashes me a weak smile before following Lieu out of the room and down the hall. So many things have been running through my mind all at once. I'm glad to get a moment peace alone to try and clear my thoughts.

"I won't let anything happen to you" I hear myself whisper as I touch my lower abdomen lightly, a smile playing on my lips. I close my eyes and lean my head back against my pillow, letting out a tired breath. A few minutes pass before I'm pulled back to reality from the sound of approaching footsteps.

When I open my eyes, I see Cruz standing at the foot of my bed. But that's not what surprises me. The small vase of a dozen yellow roses grasped in both her hands is what really gets to me. This woman never ceases to amaze me.

"Hey," she greets, lifting her chin in acknowledgement.

"Hey," I reply. My voice is still a little scratchy and my dry throat doesn't help it much.

"Um—," she glances down at the roses in her hand and then looks back up at me, "I just—I brought you these." She moves awkwardly to the counter and puts the vase there before turning back to face me.

"Thanks."

Cruz nods, "I thought I'd stop by—ya know—see how ya doin'."

"I'm fine." What surprises me most as I'm talking to her, is that there's really no anger in my voice. I guess I'm still getting used to the fact that I don't hate her the way I did before. I've grown to actually tolerate her, and that's a big step up from how things used to be between us. The silence in the room is starting to get uncomfortable. It was a nice gesture bringing the flowers and everything but I know that's not the only reason she's here. I can tell she wants to say something but she's finding it hard to get it out at the moment. Her eyes are still downcast; it's like she's ashamed to look at me. It's something very un-Cruz-like. She's the epitome of arrogance, her eyes are what she uses to make people bend to her will. She never breaks eye contact when she's being challenged. She can stare down just about anyone, that's why I'm having difficulty understanding why she's not looking at me right now. I like to think I'm pretty good at reading people, but when it comes to Cruz, I tend to find myself clueless.

As I look at her, I notice something different about her, physically.

"What happened to your face?" I ask, referring to the area around her eye that's turning a slight black and blue color. Cruz touches her cheek.

"You should ask Bosco's girl." She answers.

"Grace, hit you?" I can't believe it. Way to go, Grace. If only I thought of that a year ago. Oh, wait, I did think of that. I just never got around to doing it.

"Got me when I wasn't lookin'." Cruz continues, her eyes finally meeting mine. I can't help the smile on my face, but instead of getting angry, Cruz smiles back, "don't look too happy about it."

I laugh, "no. I'm just surprised that's all."

"So was I," Cruz says, pulling up a chair and sitting next to my bed. Things seem to be getting a bit more comfortable. "Gotta hand it to her though. For a skinny white chick, she knows how to throw a punch."

There's a sudden sharp pain in my stomach and my hands come up to hold it. Cruz is on her feet in a second, a worried expression on her face.

"You alright, Yokas? I'll go call the doctor." She moves to leave but I grab her by the wrist, pulling her back. She looks at me bewildered and I shake my head. I can't let the doctor know about this, he'll operate if I do. Besides, the pain's going away.

"It's fine," I gasp, "just a cramp." Cruz seems unsure as she looks at me. But she soon gives in and sits back down in the chair.

"I should've been there." She tells me, her eyes downcast again. This time I can't look away from her. She's saying she's sorry without actually saying she's 'sorry.' I don't know if that really makes any sense, but right now I don't care. She actually feels guilty about what happened. If that's the way she apologizes, it's good enough for me.

"It's wasn't your fault, Cruz." I tell her.

"You're part of my team. I shouldn't have left the two of you without back up."

"Yeah, well. Things happen, it's part of the job. It doesn't matter anyway, it happened too fast for back up to do any good." I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth. I'm actually trying to ease her guilt. I guess for this rare occasion of sorry-Cruz, I'll make an exception. "I don't blame you."

"Can't say the same fo' yo' partner." I barely hear her as she talks under her breath. It's true though. Bosco does blame a lot on her. It's gonna take him a very long time if ever for him to forgive her for anything.

Another knock on the door, and I look to see Grace standing there, a potted plant in her hand. She smiles when she sees me. I'm a little surprised that she even remembered my name let alone come here and bring me something. She probably figured out by now that yes, her boyfriend is my best friend and if you want to be on his good side, you have to stay on mine as well. Cruz found out the hard way what it's like to try and come between me and Bosco.

"Hi, Faith!" Grace perks, but her eyes soon fall on Cruz, and she frowns. "Does Maurice know she's here?" Her question is directed toward me, but her eyes are still on Cruz.

"Why, you gonna run and tell him?" Cruz counters, standing up from her chair.

"Oh, please, I obviously don't need him to fight my battles." Grace says referring to Cruz's bruised cheek. She rounds over to the other side of my bed, opposite Cruz and sets the plant by sink in my room.

"Thanks." I tell her, but I'm starting to feel very uncomfortable with these two women on either side of me. Especially when they clearly despise one another. Now I know what Bosco used to feel like when he got caught in the middle of my many battles with Cruz.

"You're done here, right? Because he is gonna be back soon." Grace throws at Cruz. This girl has a mouth, but I think she shouldn't come off this strong. She did hit Cruz, and if Cruz wanted to she could file charges for assaulting a Police Officer. And that would only anger Bosco even more. I wonder if Grace's hatred for Cruz stems from her finding out that Bosco and Cruz used to be together. I don't know the reason, but the hatred is apparent.

"Why are even here?" Grace pushes the subject and I remain silent, not wanting to be involved. I really don't need this right now.

"I could as you the same thing." Cruz replies, crossing her arms over her chest. As they continue their childish banter, my mind drifts to Bosco again. The more I think about it the less I'm convinced that we can make this situation work. I mean, what am I even expecting out of this? Are we really doing to be one big happy family? Is Bosco really gonna love me the way he's gonna love this child? So many doubts are hitting me all at once and this shouting now happening around me, is making things 10 times worst.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Bosco barks, looking pissed as he makes his way into the room. Thank God. Get these two out of here. He looks from both Grace and Cruz and ends up turning to face Cruz, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"I—," Cruz glances nervously at me.

"She came by to drop those off." I cut in, gesturing at the roses on the counter. Bosco doesn't even look at them, he just remains glaring at Cruz.

"I bet she did—," Bosco says, "but making peace with Faith isn't gonna save your ass this time Cruz. You're going straight to IAB. I bet they can dig up a lotta dirt on you, eh?"

"Whatever." Cruz says and makes a quick exit.

"Maurice." Grace utters, making her way around the bed to him, "I just wanted to check up on Faith for you." Oh, now it's confirmed why she came to visit. She did it to impress Bosco, should've guessed. As mad as he was at her and Cruz walking in here, it seems to melt away when he watches her smile at him. He can't help himself and he smiles back.

"Thanks. But I really need to speak to Faith alone for a minute. I'll talk to you outside." He tells her. Grace nods, smiles at me, then exits the room too. Again, I'm left in silence, but this time at least Bosco's here.

"Sorry bout that." He apologizes, "I guess now we know to not put those two in the same room together." He takes a seat next to my bed again and smiles down at me. "How you feeling?"

"Better—what was this thing about IAB?"

"Lieu thinks IAB will be the best way to deal with Cruz. She left two of her Officers in the field without back up. Lieu's not going to let this one slide." Bosco explains. He stops himself and takes a deep breath. Here it comes, the thing that's been building up inside of him, he's about to let it out. "Faith—why didn't you tell me about his baby?"

I tear my eyes away from him. "I don't know." He goes silent. I can't do this to him. This is not fair, he doesn't deserve this, I'll only cause him more problems, more complications. Does his complicated life really need one more complication? This baby is gonna change everything, it's gonna be the biggest responsibility he's ever had. I don't think he's ready for it. I guess I'd feel a lot less guilty if he didn't have someone. And right now, he's got Grace. I don't know how, but they seem to work, they look like they can be happy. He's never gonna be able to find out if he's stuck raising a kid with me. I feel tears begin to form in my eyes, I finally realize that this baby is just asking too much from him. He's already done enough.

"Faith—."

"Bosco, I have to tell you something about this baby." I manage to say at the same time choking back my tears. I know I'll regret this later, but right now it seems like the best thing to do, even if I will be lying to him. If I care about Bosco, I'd let him live his own life. This way, I'll never be a burden to him again.

"What, is something wrong? Did the doctor—?"

"It's not yours, Boz. The baby's not yours."

I let the last part of my deceit leave my lips and close my eyes as the tears begin to fall.


	7. Complications7

I was so hurt, so shocked, so disappointed, so angry the day Faith told me I wasn't the father of her baby. I was so set on being a father, I mean the realization of it all finally settled in and then she goes and tells me I'm not the father. Things only got worse when she told me that she got drunk one night and ended up taking home some random guy from a bar. This supposed one night stand occurred a week before Fred took off. It's completely bogus because I was with her day and night, but she still goes on saying that it was one night when I wasn't with her. I don't think I've ever been that angry at Faith for no particular reason other than the fact that I wasn't the father of her baby.

At first I didn't believe her, but then I figured, why would she lie about this? Why would she lie about me not being the father of her baby? Does she not trust me? Does she think I'd make a horrible father? Then the more I thought about it; the more I accepted it. It was too much to hope for I guess. But I don't remember ever loving someone so quickly the way I loved that baby the moment I found out Faith was pregnant. I would've been a great father, but I guess I'll have to settle for 'Uncle B' again. I can't believe some jagoff who got lucky with Faith is this kid's biological father. That just makes me even angrier at Faith. How can she bring a baby into this world without a father? I know she didn't mean to get pregnant, but at least with me she'd get an endless amount of support. She doesn't even know the jagoff's name that did this to her.

Faith started to ignore me after that day when she told me I wasn't going to be a father. I don't know if it was because she was embarrassed or if she was angry, but every time I called she'd hang up as soon as she heard my voice, and every time I knocked on her door, she pretended not to be home. She even went as far as to change her locks so that the key I have for her apartment is useless. After six weeks of that shit, I got fed up. Well, it so happens a week after I decided I was never going to speak to Faith again she calls me up, apologizing for the way she's been acting. I was so pissed for being given the cold shoulder for weeks that I wouldn't have any of it. Then I did something I never thought I'd ever do to Faith, I hung up on her. And, well, when it comes to Faith, the truth is, no matter how angry I can get with her, I can never stay angry for long. In the short conversation I had on the phone with her that day, I realized how much I really miss her. I miss hearing her voice and I miss seeing her every day. It's nice being partnered with Monroe, but she's not Faith. She never will be. It's been two months already and not once have I seen or really talked to Faith. The only way I know she's still alive is through the weekly phone calls I beg Sully to make or the weekly visits I send Monroe to do. It's my only way to check up on her.

How'd my life become so complicated? The more I think about the answer to that question the more I realize that it all started the night me and Faith decided to cross the line of our friendship. Maybe, sleeping together wasn't the best thing to do considering that it lead us here. If we hadn't slept together, then there wouldn't have been any possibility of me being the father of her kid. If we hadn't slept together, I wouldn't have been completely crushed the day she told me I wasn't gonna be a father. And I was the jagoff who thought sleeping with my best friend wouldn't make life complicated.

"Bosco." Monroe's voice pulls me from my thoughts and I turn my head to see her standing a few feet away from me.

"What?" I ask.

"Where were you? You completely missed roll call." Her expression is complete shock and amazement. I look straight ahead and realize I'm still sitting in front of my locker, half dressed in uniform.

"I missed—." I cut myself off, still shocked at her news.

"Bosco, when I left you were sitting there. Why aren't you dressed yet? Lieu wants to see you in his office." I can't believe I missed roll call, I don't think I've got a good enough excuse for Monroe. I was so distracted, thinking about Faith; I didn't even realize how much time had gone by. I stand up and start to finish getting into uniform while trying to ignore the concerned look Monroe's giving me, "you okay Bosco? You seem—."

"I'm fine. I was just—."

"Thinking about Faith." She finishes for me and I give her a look. Is it that obvious?

"No—."

"It's no biggy if you were, Bosco. It's only natural."

"I wasn't, okay. Drop it—go wait in the car or something."

"Oh, about that—Lieu's having you work the desk today since you missed roll call, I'm riding with Ty." She tells me, and on reflex I kick my locker.

"That's just great. You takin' 55-David? You drive, I don't want Davis behind the wheel of my car when I'm not there." I warn. Okay, so I'm possessive when it comes to my squad. It's just that Faith and I have rode in it for so long, it's precious to me, a lot of good memories happened in that car. The best and most memorable conversations I've had with Faith happened in 55-David. Can't blame me for being protective.

"Sure." I'm grateful that she doesn't argue with me on this one. She's ridden with me enough times to understand what 55-David means to me. So I'll trust her to take it out for a day. I just can't believe Lieu's gonna make me ride the desk just because I missed roll call. I don't know, I should just go and talk to him. "Well—have a nice day, Bosco."

"Yeah. You too." I reply. Damn, this belt buckle. It's bad enough that I have to work behind the desk today without my uniform giving me problems. After I finally adjust my belt I slam my locker shut and head out. I open the door, and run right into the person coming into the locker room.

"Sorry, I didn't see—." I stop myself when I find that I'm looking into a pair of familiar big, round eyes. "Faith."

She looks at me, her eyes wide, but she says nothing. I realize why when she pushes pass me and straight to the open stall, not even bothering to close the door behind her. I soon hear the unpleasant sound of her breakfast making it's way into the toilet bowl. I didn't know she still got morning sickness. I walk over to her as she finishes, walking unsteadily to the sink. I make a move to help her, but then I hesitate, remembering the fact that we haven't talked in months. She makes it on her own to the sink and starts to splash water on her face.

"You're staring." She says as she dabs her face with a paper towel. Faith's right. I haven't taken my eyes off of her since she entered the locker room. This is the first time I've seen her in months, it's still sinking in that she's actually standing in front of me. She turns to me for the first time since she came in, and it's then that I finally notice the roundness of her midsection. She's showing. It hasn't hit me till now that she's almost five months pregnant already. I can't believe I've missed out on two months already because of our non-communication. I'm willing to forget everything that happened in the last two months if she is. I can't stand to be distant from her.

"Sorry—you okay?" I finally ask, breaking eye contact when my eyes meet hers.

"I'm better." She replies. She actually gives me a smile of gratitude. Or at least I think it's gratitude and not annoyance. I can't really stand to be this near to her right now, because the temptation to just throw my arms around her and never let go is very strong. So I settle for looking down at my feet.

"Boz—," She starts, and I see her feet come into view as I look down at mine. That can't be a good sign, that only means she's gotten closer, real close. My suspicions are confirmed when I look up and once again meet her eyes. She's only inches away from me. The way she looks at me, I'm expecting her to break down or something right now, but she surprises the hell out of me when she goes on saying in the most professional voice she can pull off, "Lieu's waiting for you outside."

Now, she's just toying with me. Faith let's a small smile pass over her lips before she breezes pass me and out of the room. I shake my head as I follow after her. When I get outside, sure enough, Lieu's waiting. When he sees me, a stern expression crosses his face.

"Missed roll call, Boscorelli." He tells me.

"I know, sir. I don't know—." I try to explain as I follow him toward the front desk.

"Save the excuses, Bosco. I'm not in the mood to hear them right now." He cuts me off, and I suck in a frustrated breath. Okay, so Lieu's still angry with me for what happened last week, when I got into yet another argument with Cruz. But this time we were arguing in front of the Chief of Police and he came down pretty hard on Lieu for not being able to control his own House.

"Boss—." I try again, but he's not having it.

"You're on desk duty today, Boscorelli. Now get to work." He orders and walks away. What work? Desk duty is no work at all. I head to the desk and instantly notice Faith. Of course she's working desk duty, stupid me for not realizing sooner. I feel like kicking Lieu in his shins right now for putting me behind the desk right along side my dear ol' partner. Ex-partner, I think, if Faith would have her way again. She's ended things between us before, I wouldn't put it pass her if she were able to do it again. I suck in a much needed breath of air and approach her, standing on the opposite side of the somewhat circular front desk.

After a few minutes she still doesn't notice me. What's her problem? Maybe she doesn't know I'm here, her back's been to me since I arrived. So I decide to get her attention by faking a cough, but when I bring my hand up to muffle my cough, my elbow ends up knocking over the cup of coffee sitting next to me on the desk. The hot contents of the coffee mug spills over a few scattered papers laid out on the desk and Faith turns just as the coffee starts to spill over onto the floor. I curse as I quickly grab the paper towel roll in from one of the cabinets and start to clean up the mess I so stupidly made. I don't even want to look at Faith's face right now, she probably thinks I'm the biggest, clumsiest idiot in the world right now.

"That was graceful." She comments, standing over me. I force a smile as I throw the soaked paper towels in the trash. I finish my humiliating job of cleaning up my mess and then I turn around and finally face her. I'm surprised because she's not looking at me like I'm an idiot at all, she actually looks like she's amused, a hint of laughter in her eyes. Well, I can't blame her, seeing some jagoff spill coffee everywhere would amuse the hell out of me too.

"I didn't see—," I start, referring to the coffee mug, but she already knows what I'm talking about because she nods.

"I know. Sorry, I should have moved that. Sully left it there on his way out." She apologizes and I can't help but notice how beautiful she is. Not seeing her for so long, I've gained a greater appreciation for the way she looks. Or is it true what they say about pregnant women? That they seem to glow and stuff. "What are you doing here, Bosco?"

"What? Working the desk?"

She nods.

"I missed roll call. Lieu's punishing me." I inform her, willing my cheeks not to turn red with embarrassment. I was humiliated enough with the coffee incident.

"It's good to see you." Faith says, smiling weakly. I can tell her statement's genuine as she stares back at me. She breaks eye contact first, before I can reply, and turns back to her pile of papers she was organizing earlier. I open my mouth to say something to her, but think better of it when I see Cruz making her way to us. I sit back on the stool behind me and start to occupy myself with the tape dispenser in front of me.

"Sarge." Faith greets, looking up from her paper work and at Cruz.

"Yokas." Cruz replies. I don't miss the nasty look she throws my way before turning her attention back to Faith. She's still pissed off about our little argument. I haven't really gotten over it either. "You got my papers?"

"Yeah, they're right—," Faith turns toward me and stops, looking at something next to me. I follow her eyes until my own land on the pile of coffee stained papers to my right. Oh, that's not good, don't tell me those are the papers Cruz is referring to. I meet Faith's eyes and she closes hers, clearly disappointed. She reaches pass me and grabs the tinted colored papers. After a few seconds she turns back to Cruz.

"Sorry, but I—well—I sort of spilt coffee on them." Faith lies, handing them sheepishly to Cruz. I stand up to protest her act of selflessness, but she gives me a look of warning and I sit back down. She doesn't have to do this, I can handle Cruz fine on my own, I really don't need anyone's help. But then again, I know she's only taking the blame because she doesn't want me to get into any more trouble with Lieu.

"You've got to be kidding me." Cruz says, taking the papers from Faith. She stares at them for a moment, obviously not knowing how to react. Then out of nowhere she lets out a small chuckle and actually smiles at Faith, "I can't believe this."

"I'm really sorry—I—," Faith starts, but then notices too, that Cruz doesn't look angry at all.

"I was actually hopin' they got lost in the mail, but coffee stained is the next best thing." Cruz says, tucking the papers away in a folder she was already holding. "You got lucky this time, Boscorelli. Let's just hope you spill coffee on really important documents next time." Okay, so Faith has to improve on her lying skills, but Cruz didn't have to actually come out and admit she knew Faith was covering up for me. Cruz gives me a sly smirk before she turns and heads back up to her office.

"I tried." Faith says, when Cruz vanishes from view. I shrug.

"Thanks, anyway. For sticking up for me like that."

"Well, I already got an ear full from Lieu about what happened between you and Cruz. He's still pretty ticked off about it."

"Why do you think I'm working the desk?"

Faith and I talked non-stop for eight hours. She told me Em and Charlie email her every other day. She seemed really happy about that, but then she told me she didn't tell them about her being pregnant. She wasn't sure how to explain the circumstances of her becoming pregnant. I completely understand that. We even discussed briefly how foolish we both were for not speaking to one another for two months. I went on to admit that I missed her and I missed seeing her and she admitted to the same thing. Then I told her I was still with Grace and the mood slightly changed after that for some reason. Maybe it just surprised her that I'm still committed to a relationship and it's been over a month. I drove Faith home after our shift was done. She said she'd invite me in, but that she was too tired. I accepted her excuse and left her apartment, feeling quite pleased with myself. I'm glad Faith and I are once again on the same page. Two months of complete chaos is finally over.

I walk into my apartment and find it illuminated with dozens of white candles placed everywhere around my living room and bedroom. Red rose petals are sprinkled over my bed and I'm totally taken in the romance of the moment. Especially when I see Grace, walking slowly toward me in nothing but her awfully revealing Victoria Secret night gown. She gives me that sexy smile of hers and grabs me roughly by my collar, kissing me hard. I respond just as strong as I move us to the bed. Grace rolls us over and I starts nibbling at my neck. She sure knows how to satisfy a man.

"I was—thinking—about—you all day." Grace says between kisses. I reverse our positions again, taking a moment to just gaze into her beautiful face. I push her hair back, away from her face. As I kiss her, I realize I've never really felt this way before, I've never really let myself feel this way before. Grace is different, what I have with her is something I've never had with anyone, I can't lose that.

Before I can stop myself I come out and say, "marry me."

I'm only hit with the reality of my words after Grace smiles and says 'yes.'


	8. Complications8

Okay, so Bosco telling me he was getting married was a complete shock, but what surprises me more is how much it bothers me. I mean, for 13 years now, all I've ever wanted for Bosco is happiness. I've been waiting for the day when he'd tell me he's found someone he's willing to spend the rest of his life with. Someone he loves more than anything in this world, and someone who loves him just as much. Now that the day has finally arrived, I'm a little confused as to how I feel about it. I guess it's only complicated from my perspective, because I'm pregnant with his child and he doesn't even know it. It's no ones' fault but mine. But seriously, how long has he been dating Grace, four months? Does he really even know her? I don't want to seem rude or selfish, but I just don't want to see Bosco get hurt, he's already been through so much. Some of it was because of me, and I'm still kicking myself over it.

It's been nearly a month since he told me about his marriage plans, but I still find myself thinking about it constantly. Grace is the one that actually set the date. They've got about two months of planning before the actual wedding. And I've got about two months before this baby is born. I can tell Bosco's excited—about the wedding. I've never seen him so gaga over a girl before. Now that they're engaged, he barely talks about anything else but her. Monroe's getting sick of it; she rolls her eyes every time she and Bosco pass by me at the desk. I only smile because I've had to put up with his talking for over a decade now. But it hadn't hit me till today when Bosco stopped by the desk to say 'hi', that things are going to be so different. In a way I'll be losing my best friend because, well, he won't be able to be there for me as much as he's been over the years. He's gonna have a wife and soon a family. A family? Wow, hadn't thought about that either. Bosco definitely wants kids; he fell in love with mine years ago. Even if I'll be giving birth to his first born, at least he'll be having children with the woman he really loves. I know Bosco loves me, but I know he's never been in love with me. That's the big difference between me and Grace. He loves her like a man should love a woman, not like a man loves a friend.

I still find it comforting, to know that, even if Bosco's getting married, he still finds time for me. Between his tuxedo shopping, meetings w/the wedding planner, and outings with Grace, he still finds time to stop by my apartment to see how I am. His visits aren't as frequent as before, but that's a good thing. The less I see him, the less guilty I feel for lying to him about our baby. He dropped off a crib for the baby he had bought last week. I thought it was the sweetest gesture. He said he was going to buy the sheets and blanket too after we find out the sex of the baby. Even if he doesn't know it, he's daddy material. He deserves to be a father, he really does, but he also deserves a wife that loves him, and not a best friend he knocked up after a one-night stand. That's mainly the reason I didn't want him to come today. I wanted him to go shopping for China or something with Grace. The last thing I need is to piss off Grace because I'm spending so much time with her soon-to-be husband. But Bosco insisted that he come. He said he didn't want me to be alone.

"Is this your first?" Dr. Meadows asks, looking from me to Bosco. Bosco glances at me and then smiles at the doctor.

"Third." He tells her.

"Well, congratulations, both of you." Dr. Meadows says, and Bosco's hold on my hand tightens. I look at him, but he's still staring at the doctor.

"No—um—I'm not the father." Bosco informs my doctor, "I just wanted to come down here with Faith. You know—she shouldn't be alone for this."

Dr. Meadows nods. "I understand. You've got a good friend here, Faith." She tells me and I smile, the best actually. Dr. Meadows attention returns to the monitor in front of us. From the corner of my eye, I see that Bosco is also looking at the monitor now, trying to make out what the hazy black, white, and gray images are on the screen. "The baby's in perfect position to determine gender. Would you like to know?"

I look at Bosco again, a hint of anticipation in his eyes. He wants to know just as much as I do. I turn back to Dr. Meadows and nod. She looks at the monitor.

"Well, Faith. You're going to be the mother of a baby girl."

I smile and I notice Bosco's got a huge smile on his face too. He leans forward and kisses me on the cheek whispering a 'congratulations' into my ear. So I'm having a girl. Wow, I'm even more excited now. I can go through that whole phase of braiding hair, and playing dress up again. I really can't wait. I again look at Bosco and notice how excited he looks as well. If he only knew.

I had hoped the ride back to my apartment would be silent, but apparently Bosco's been waiting to talk to me for a long time. He hasn't stopped talking since we left the hospital.

"—so Monroe grabs the guy and I'm freaking out because I'm still pretty far away from her, and well, she's so small and the jagoff was ten times her size. But she surprises the hell out of me, gets him face down on the pavement, and cuffs him. I never saw anything like it before." Bosco says, laughing as he reminisces. I'm glad he and Monroe get along. They seem to really work well together. At least there's a good replacement for me when I'm out on maternity leave. From the corner of my eye, I see Bosco looking at me, "hey, you alright?"

I nod and force a smile, "I'm good."

My reply doesn't seem to satisfy his concern but he lets it go anyway, quickly changing the subject, "well, now that we know you're having a girl. We can go and buy pink sheets or something."

"I think I've still got the ones we used for Em in storage somewhere."

He frowns, "you're not serious?"

"Why?"

"Those sheets are what? 17 years old? No way are you using them for this baby. I'll buy you new ones. It's no trouble at all, Faith. Believe me. I'm happy to help you out." He tells me and I smile. I really don't have the heart to argue with him when he's so sweet and caring like this. So I drop the subject and return to simply staring out the window.

"Grace and I were talking about—." He hesitates, looking as if he should be telling me this or not. I can see how whatever it is, is bothering him so I push the matter.

"What?" I ask.

"Having kids. She says she's not ready. She's finally got it good with being a paramedic, she wants to wait a little while before having a baby." Bosco confesses, I can see his grip on the steering wheel tightening, even to a point where his knuckles are white. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was angry. But I know he's not angry, he's more frustrated than anything else.

"And how do you feel about that?"

He looks at me sadly, "I want kids, Faith. I don't know how much longer I can wait. It's just—for all these years, seeing you—ya know, you got Charlie and Em. Well, you know I love your kids, I mean I love them as if they were my own, but they're not. I want to be a father, I know I can be a great dad, if someone will just give me a chance."

I don't even notice the sudden roundness of my eyes and how wide they've become because a million emotions are running through me all at once. He can't possibly know, can he? Who would've told him? Only I know the truth. Then why is he talking about 'someone' giving him a 'chance' to be a dad? I've gotta calm down and respond, because he's looking at me to say something.

I breathe in deeply and return his gaze, "if you really love Grace, you'll respect her decision. She wants to have children too, Boz. Just not right now. You'll be a father, that much I can—I can—promise."

Bosco seems satisfied with my answer because he smiles at me and returns his attention back to the road. Okay, so he doesn't know but keeping this lie is going to be even harder than I thought. But I can't really do anything about it now, my fate was decided the moment I chose to lie to Bosco. I cannot go back now, he'll never look at me the same, and I will lose all the trust and faith he has in me. Right now, I'm starting to think my life is like a fricken soap opera. How can it get any more complicated?

Thank the Lord, Bosco just drops me off and then heads to meet Grace because any more alone time with him will drive me crazy with guilt. I get up to my apartment as fast as I can, I have to talk to someone, anyone, I have to get this out of me. I reach my apartment, unlock the door, and practically fly it open, unintentionally almost breaking it off its hinges. I get to my phone and oh, looky, my number one speed dial is Bosco. Okay, I can't possibly talk to him about something like this. The next best thing I guess is my mother. I know she won't have any possible contact with Bosco in the near future so she'd be a good person to unload some of my stuff on, especially my 'stuff' concerning Bosco.

"Hello?" Mom has such a soft voice, sometimes I have to strain to hear her.

"Hi, mom."

"Faith?"

"Yeah—how are thing mom? How's dad?" I ask the questions I feel obligated to ask, but what I really want to do is get to the point of why I called.

"Oh, he's fine. He's watching the game show network right now. I was in the kitchen making him a sandwich and a glass of water, even though he says he doesn't want a glass of water, I think water would be good for him. You remember how I used to make you and your brother drink a lot of water when you were kids—."

"Yes, mom, I remember, look, I—."

"How are my two grandchildren, how are you treating Fred?"

I close my eyes, pained by her words, but I force myself to speak, "they're gone, remember, mom? Fred left me for another woman and he took Em and Charlie with him. Is all this coming back to you now, mom?" Okay, maybe calling my mother wasn't such a great idea. If this secret hadn't been about Bosco I would be talking to him right now and suffering with my mother, my last resort to ease some of my tension.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry, Faith. I just miss my grandchildren. Your brother doesn't come by much anymore either, and—."

"I'm pregnant mom, remember? When the baby's born I'll come by all the time so we can visit you." I tell her, trying to cheer her up. She does sound really sad over the phone right now.

"I'd like that—did you need to speak to your father, he's right here."

"No, mom. I want to speak to you."

"Are you sure, Faith? He's right here."

"Mom, I have to tell you about the father of my baby."

"Father of your baby?"

Does she really have to repeat what I tell her? I'm starting to get really frustrated, seconds away from hanging up this damn phone and forgetting the fact that I even called her. "The father of my baby is—."

"Your father wants to speak to you, here, hold on."

"No! Mom, wait."

"Wait—Faith, who is the father? Okay, never mind your father wants to speak—."

I can't take it anymore, "Bosco! Mom! Bosco's the father of my baby!" I practically shout into the phone. There's a sudden silence as I hear something crash to the floor behind me. I turn around and see Cruz, standing in the doorway, a glass bowl in pieces at her feet, her mouth hung open, and her eyes wide, staring back at me. Oh, God.

"Faith? Faith?"

"Mom, I gotta go."

Talk about more complications.


	9. Complications9

"Oh, my God."

"Cruz, what are you—how long have you been standing there?"

"I—I um—wanted to stop by and—Bosco? Is that true? I can't believ—you and Bosco."

"It was one night, it just happened. You can't—this is my secret, Cruz."

"Your secret?"

Life's really been hard on me for a while now. Most of the complications I've had in my life stem from my drive and need to bring down the bad guys. I used to be all about getting those 'bad' guys in jail, using any means necessary to do so. I did the things I did only because it's my job to clean up the streets, it's my job to protect others, make the world a better place so to speak. Okay, so my methods weren't always by the book. Screw the book, I've locked up a hell of a lot more people than most and I ain't got a single regret in doing so. With the exception of Michael Boscorelli that is. Bosco still hasn't forgiven me for his brother's death. I can't blame him, I should've slowed down when he asked me to. But hell, I'm sick and tired of Bosco blaming every little bad thing that happens in his life on me. It's been nearly two years since that incident that happened in that hotel room.

"He doesn't know?"

"No. And he never will."

"Faith."

"Cruz, this is my child. I get the right to decide, not you."

"Bosco's gotta right too. Why don't you ask him how he feels about it?"

Bosco was a huge disappointment, but I should've never expected him to be my star. He already belonged to someone else, but he didn't even know it. I still don't think he knows. I used to hate Yokas. Mostly because Bosco would never look at me the way he looked at her. Even when they weren't speaking to each other, every time she came near, I'd watch him watch her. It was sickening really, I mean I was the one he was sleeping with, but she was the one that still had him wrapped around her finger. I don't think he'd ever admit it out loud how much he admires and respects her. Damn fool, adores her, practically worships the ground she walks on. That's the reason why after I shot her, I lost him forever. I know he'll never forgive me for nearly killing his partner, and the fact that he still blames his brother's death on me doesn't help the chance of Bosco being decent to me one day. So I've made mistakes, a lot, but I'd like to think I changed after what happened on my undercover assignment a while back. Even if I won't admit it out loud, I'm grateful to Monroe for being so supportive through those times. Yeah, it was tough, that's why I knew then that I needed to change, for the better.

"So, you're gonna raise this child alone?"

"That's the plan, yeah."

"Every kid needs a father."

"Not every child grows up with a father, most turn out fine."

"And the others become serial killers."

I was still motivated though and Yokas wasn't making it any easier for me. She was constantly getting in my face, shadowing my every move. One slip and I knew she'd turn my ass into IAB. But then she goes all heroic on me again, and saves my life. I didn't even see the bastard behind me, I thought for sure Yokas was gonna shoot me, but she didn't. Instead, she saved my life. As much as she hated me for everything that went on between us, she still saved my life, yet again. Maybe it was then that I started to ease off a little, but then that whole thing with her and Bosco and their need to upstage me when it came to the ecstasy collar, well, I couldn't have that. That drove yet another wedge between us. But soon I found that we finally had a common goal, bring down Donald Mann. He killed Wynn, wounded my guys, and even had the balls to attack Bosco while at his brother's wake. So while I sat in that hospital room with Bosco, Yokas, and Davis, when that shooter came, I don't even know what came over me. I took that bullet for Yokas without even giving it a second thought. For so long I had carried this guilt with me over what I did to her, a woman who has saved my life more than once, I finally was able to repay her.

"He's marrying Grace. He's happy, for the first time in a long time. How can I take that from him?"

"How can you keep his own child from him?"

"I have my reasons."

"And of course they're selfless, but keeping Bosco from his own child? It's wrong and you know it."

"You've got no right to stand there and judge me. I lost everything when my Fred took my family from me. This baby is all I have left. It's different for Bosco. He doesn't only have this baby, he doesn't only have me anymore. He has Grace and he loves her and he's gonna marry her. I'm not going to keep him from the life he—he wants. The life he wants—with Grace, not the life he got stuck with because he got—his—his one night stand pregnant."

"It's okay, Faith. Hey, it's alright. I understand. This is a mother's decision, but Bosco—lov—he loves you, Faith. He'd take care of you."

"I'm his best friend, nothing more. I care about him too much—I can't keep being a burden to him. It's gotta stop sometime and that time is now."

I think she knows why I risked my life for her, and that's why we've been on good terms ever since. We don't bicker, we don't fight, we're pass it all now, and I can't explain what a relief that is. The problem though, is since Yokas and I have been getting along, her partner's been hating every minute of it. He hates that she's nice to me, he hates that he's gotta act decent to me when she's around. He hates me and every time he comes near, I can't help but feel uncomfortable. I've butted heads with a lot of people in my lifetime but none have looked at me with such contempt and loathing the way Bosco looks at me. And to think, he's the same guy that couldn't get enough of me two years ago. We've come a long way since then. But as much as we're not too fond of each other, keeping him from his natural right as a father, is something I find very wrong. If Faith cares for Bosco so much, how can she keep something like this from him? I've been asking myself that same question since I found out seven weeks ago. And it's beyond me why I've been keeping this secret for her.

"You're what?!" I hear Bosco voice from the locker room when I arrive at work. I glance down at my watch. Wow, that's a surprise, he's early. As I near the locker room another voice from inside catches my attention.

"We talked about it all last night." Yokas said, her tone obviously trying to get Bosco to calm down. Whatever they were talking about is getting him pretty frustrated.

"You talked about what? You've got nothing to talk about with that jagoff, Faith. I can't believe you're even considering taking him back." Bosco's building up an audience outside of the locker room, a few Officers linger close trying to catch another episode of the Bosco/Yokas drama.

"I miss my children! They miss me! I need them Bosco, I need them. I can't keep living so far away. I can't. You don't know how lonely it is to go home every night. To walk into an empty apartment. An apartment that was never empty before. I used to have a family, now I have nothing."

"You've got me, Faith!" I think I actually hear desperation in his voice. I can just picture the two of them right now, both in tears. "Call me when you're lonely. You know I'll come. I'll always be there for—."

"And I'm sure Grace will just love that—wake up, Boz. You're getting married in a week."

"You've been married since before we met, but that didn't stop us from being friends, Faith. Just because I'm gonna be married—well, it doesn't change anything!" Bosco shouts back, I've never heard him speak to her in such an angry tone before. I wish someone would go in to the locker room and get Yokas out of there instead of everyone just standing right outside of the door listening. Some of the guys are snickering, saying Bosco should be marrying Yokas not Grace because they're already acting like an old married couple.

It's then that I hear a third party in the locker room with them, "Just back off, Bosco." Sasha's voice is firm as she enters the dispute. I wouldn't have thought she was in there. Then again, she is Bosco's partner and the reason why he's probably on time.

"Stay out of this, Monroe!" Bosco barks. And seconds later Sasha's heading out of the locker room. I tell the Officers crowded around the locker room door to take a hike before I approach Sasha. She looks stressed as she glances back at the door, deciding whether to go back in or not.

"What's happening in there?" I ask.

"Faith came in like 10 minutes ago and told Bosco she was planning on getting back together with Fred." She informs me.

"What?" Well, my suspicions are confirmed, but why would Yokas want to go back to that guy. He really did a number on her, probably the reason why she turned to Bosco for comfort.

"Yeah, and Bosco's not too happy about it as you can probably tell. Sorry, Cruz, I gotta go call Lieu. He's the only one that can break those two apart."

Soon after Sasha leaves, Bosco starts up again, "you get it out of your head, Faith, because you're not going back to him." Whoa, that's pushing it, Bosco. If I know Yokas, which I hardly do, but if I didn't know her at all I could certainly tell by just looking at her that she's not the kind of woman that likes being told what to do. She actually hates it. And sure enough, Yokas snaps.

"Who the hell do you think you are? How is it that you think I'm gonna do what you want me to do? I'm sick and tired of this, Bosco. I have to make things work with Fred—for my kids sake at least. They love their father."

"Just shut up about Fred will you? He cheated on you remember? He left you for another woman, why can't you get that through your thick head and stop defending him to me. I know him well enough to hate him because he hurt you Faith. He hurt you worse than anyone else possibly could, and you're standing there telling me you're planning on going back to that loser."

"He's the father of my children."

"Doesn't make him any less of a loser—," I hear Bosco breathe in deeply before saying, "does he know you're pregnant?...yeah, I didn't think so."

"He'll understand—."

"No, he won't understand. You should know that. He'll never accept you having someone else's child. He'll call you dirty, he'll treat you no better than he did before, he'll hurt you all over again, Faith, is that what you want? Tell me, is that what you want for this baby?"

"Fred's a good father."

Then Bosco's voice is suddenly just above a whisper, but full of rage, "Fred is no better than the ground I walk on, and if you go back to him, neither are you." My mouth is hung open, I can't believe he just told her that. It's then that I hear I sudden crack, the sound of hand connecting with cheek. Yokas has had enough, she finally slapped him. I think this is the first time she's ever done something like this because soon after I hear her apologizing.

"Bosco—I'm—I'm sorry, I didn't mean—Boz," Faith pleads with him.

"Don't touch me. I'm through with you. Go back to him, I don't care. I can't stand to look at you anymore." I hear a locker slam and then the door to the locker room flies open and Bosco exits just as Sasha arrives with Lieu in tow. I notice the slight redness on Bosco's left cheek. Yokas got him a good one.

"Boscorelli, what's going on?" Lieu demands, his face a mixture of fear and anger.

"Let's go, Monroe." Bosco snaps, pushing pass me on his way out. Even when Lieu's calling after him, he doesn't turn, he just keeps walking, straight out of the House. Lieu glances from me, Sasha, and the locker room door, before his eyes finally settle on Monroe.

"Calm him down, Sasha. Watch him today." He orders, Sasha nods, and runs off after Bosco. I don't know if she'll be able to calm him when he's this angry. The one person who possibly can is ironically the same person that got him so upset. But I've got faith in Sasha, she's got a good head on those shoulders. Lieu looks at me, "I guess I should go in there and speak to her."

I stop him, "let me go—I'll talk to her." He looks at me a moment, deciding to agree or not. He sighs heavily then nods. I force a smile, breathe in deeply then I push open the locker room door. As soon as I get in there, I see Faith, leaning against the wall by the sink. She's drying her eyes with some tissue, and right now, I feel so bad for her. She's giving birth soon, it should be a joyous time for her, she shouldn't be crying like this. Bosco, you jerk.

"Yokas?" I say, in a very uncharacteristic gentle tone. Where'd that voice come from? Certainly not me, right? I watch as she looks up at me, her eyes slightly puffy.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"It's the hormones, that's all. I always get emotional—it's nothing." But soon after she tells me that, she breaks down and I help her to the bench. Her belly is enormous, looks like she can pop anytime now. For the next few minutes I just pat her back gently while she cries.

A week goes by pretty quickly. Bosco and Yokas still haven't spoken to one another since that day in the locker room. Bosco's being stubborn if you ask me. I know he wants Yokas at his wedding, but it's his damn pride that's keeping him from calling her. He acts like he doesn't care, but I heard him a few days ago ask Monroe if she'd talk to Yokas lately, and seemed disappointed when Monroe said 'no'. I've been thinking for a week, what to do about this rift between Bosco and Yokas and well, I came up with a plan that I hope will work.

Maybe I should put the sirens on, that'll get me there faster. Yep, these jagoffs in front of me are finally moving out of my way. Well, anyway, as I was saying, I've devised a plan to get Bosco talking to Yokas again. I'm seeing it ending up one of two ways. The first way is Bosco and Yokas finally talking to one another and dealing with all their issues. The latter is Bosco and Yokas finally talking to one another, dealing with all their issues, and then killing each other because they just can't resolve their problems. I've been carrying a heavy load on my shoulders since the day Yokas told me she was having Bosco's baby and well, I think what I'm about to do will change more than just the lives of Bosco and Yokas. A lot of people are involved in this now.

Is this the place? Wow, it's nothing like I imagined. Grace always looked like the kind of girl who'd want to get married in a nice, little, white chapel. I don't even bother to park the car nicely, I hop the curb with my front two tires and then start quickly towards the entrance. I listen in just to make sure it's the right place before I burst through the front doors.

"If there is anyone present here who objects and can show just cause as to why these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace—." The minister says. Talk about perfect timing.

I clear my throat and as loud and firm as I can, I say, "I object."

I hold my breath as everyone in the church turns around to look at me. There's no going back now. God, help me.


	10. Complications10

The room is spinning; everything is going in circles, spiraling into darkness. Everything happened so fast after Cruz barged into the chapel. My entire world crumbled when I followed her outside and she spilled the secret Faith's been keeping from me. Of all people, I would have wanted the truth from anyone—anyone, but her. And to think Cruz knew the truth and I didn't. I never thought I could hate Cruz anymore than I already did. If I didn't have so many witnesses, I'd pull out my gun and shoot her. But she did me a favor in a way because I can't get married without fixing this situation with Faith first. I just hope Grace can understand that.

"Maurice! Wait!" Grace calls after me as I make my way down the chapel steps. I can't think straight right now, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I suddenly feel her pulling me back, turning me to face her. She looks so stunning in her wedding gown, "where are you going, Maurice? Don't go, please!"

"I told you, Grace. There's something I gotta do; questions I need answered." I tell her the first thing that comes to mind and I know it's the honest to God truth. I need answers, I need to hear it from Faith, I need to know the truth behind the lies. Hearing it from Cruz isn't enough, I need the truth from Faith, only then will I believe it. Jeez, I sound like Fox Mulder trying to convince his partner he's worth saving, that there's cause behind his insanity, that the truth is indeed out there. Actually, I think that's how I've been with Faith since the day we got partnered up 13 years ago.

I turn to leave again, but Grace grabs my hand, and my eyes return to her, "I love you." She tells me and it breaks my heart to see how honest and sincere she is.

"Bosco, you comin'?" Cruz shouts from behind me and I'm pulled back to reality, pulled out from the depths of Grace's beautiful, loving eyes.

"Yeah!" I call back, then turn to face Grace one last time, "bye." I reluctantly turn my back on her and make my final descent down the steps. Cruz is waiting in the driver's seat of her car, and I slide across the hood to enter in the passenger side. Everyone watches from the front of the chapel as we drive off. Everyone we invited showed up, even Sully, who hates social get-together, came. All for nothing though because there's not going to be a wedding today, maybe not ever.

"I shoulda told you earlier, but—it's—it's complicated." Cruz tells me, but I remain silent. It didn't have to be so complicated, if Faith just came out and told me the truth from the beginning. I wouldn't have fallen for Grace, I wouldn't have asked her to marry me, and I wouldn't have had to leave her at the altar. I've forgiven Faith for a lot over the years, and she's done the same with me, but this time she's gone too far. "She's 3 days over due, take it easy on her."

I don't reply, I just stare straight ahead, wanting to get there already. How can anyone expect me to take it easy when I just found out that I'm going to be a father? I should be happy at the news, but I'm too pissed off to feel anything positive right now. Or maybe because I was happy—the happiest I've ever been, when I first found out Faith was pregnant. And then completely crushed when she told me her baby wasn't mine.

"You gotta understand why she kept it from you, Bosco. She was only thinking about—." Cruz starts, but I cut her off.

"Can you just drive?" I snap at her because I really don't want to be discussing this with her. I already hate the fact that Faith confided in Cruz, I don't need her defending Faith's 'good' intentions to me. I sigh as I glance at Cruz and remind myself that she's only trying to help me. "Look, I appreciate that you told me and everything, Cruz, but this still doesn't change things between us."

"I'm not looking for things to change between us, Bosco. I told you because I felt you had a right to know the truth before you went off and married Grace." Cruz admits, and as I look her in the eyes, I can tell for the first time, she's being completely honest with me.

"Better late than never, right?" I force a smile, but inside there's this sadness that is pulling so cruelly at my heart, making it hard to even breathe. I can't believe I left Grace standing there. I can't believe I left her for Faith, so willingly I might add. Maybe there was a little hesitation, but the moment the truth came out, I knew I had to see Faith. Marrying Grace had dropped off my priority list, and I hate that I made the decision so quickly, without even a second thought. I didn't know Faith had that effect on me, I didn't know how easily it was for me to drop everything so that I could see her. But I had never imagined I could feel so calm and so at peace as I watched Grace walk down the aisle to me. She was so happy while we stood together at the altar, she was practically smiling from ear to ear. And I must admit, so was I. But if I was so happy with Grace, why was I able to leave her the moment I found out about Faith? I can't explain it, everything's so confusing right now. We finally reach Faith's apartment building and I'm opening the door before Cruz even pulls up to the curb. I start up the steps, but I look back at the sound of Cruz's voice.

"I'll wait here, just in case—you know. Good luck, Bosco."

"I don't believe in luck." I tell her.

"Maybe you should start."

I nod before making my way to Faith's apartment. I take the steps up to Faith's floor, three at a time, and I'm amazed my short legs allow me to do so. I stop in front of her door to catch my breath, I probably already look like a mess, my bow tie came undone on the way up here, and I wipe my forehead where I'm beginning to sweat. I'm so nervous right now, even more nervous than I was while standing at the altar waiting for Grace to show up. Man, I've gotta stop thinking about Grace right now. I gotta get into the mood to yell and scream at Faith even though I don't think I have the heart to do either right now. I suck in a deep breath, before I turn the surprisingly unlocked doorknob and push open the door. All I want is the truth from her, and I'm finally going to get it.

Faith's apartment is quite as I enter. The curtains are closed so the place is mostly dark except for a soft light that draws me into the living room. I find her sleeping on the sofa. I couldn't have showed up at a worse time because as I look down at her right now, I can't think of anything else but how incredibly beautiful she looks. I sit down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, and I am unable to tear my eyes from her face. The dim light from her lamp in the corner of the room lightly touches Faith, outlining the strong yet delicate features of her face. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. I reach out to touch her cheek slightly. Her skin is so soft.

My eyes move from her face down to where her hand rests lightly on her stomach. She's lying on her side, probably the most comfortable position given that she's pregnant. I shut my eyes tight and bury my face in my hands, propping my elbows on my knees. Oh, God, why? Why is this happening to me? I wanna be angry, I wanna throw things, punch things, but I haven't even the heart to wake Faith and confront her. What's wrong with me? Why am I so forgiving when it comes to her? How can I be so angry with her one minute, then looking at her the next, can completely melt my resolve? I feel a tear escape from the corner of my eye and I quickly wipe it away. I'm a broken man, I know now.

"Bosco?" I look up at the sound of Faith's voice, and find myself meeting her concerned gaze, "what are you doing he—the wedding?" I can't bring myself to respond. I don't even know what to say to her right now. I tried mapping it out in my head before I got here but as I stare at her right now, I find myself at a lost for words. I hold my breath as I force my gaze not to waver.

"Bosco? What's wrong?" She asks, sitting up slowly. I almost help her but I think better of it, remembering the fact that she's been lying to me for months. She's sitting up directly in front of me now, our knees almost touching. I don't look away as I see nothing but concern in her eyes as she looks back at me. Why does she have to look at me that way? "Boz? Why aren't you getting married right now?"

Just come out and say it Boscorelli, "I had to hear it come from you, Faith." Is all that I can bring myself to say as I watch her reaction. At first, she looks confused, but then the realization sinks in as she reads the emotion I'm trying to mask in my eyes. It's the truth when I say no one knows me better than Faith. I don't even have to tell her how I'm feeling because she knows by what she sees in my eyes.

"Bosco—I—."

"No more lies, Faith, please. I just want the truth—just tell me—please, it's all I ask." I try hard to keep my voice from cracking. I see the tears developing in her eyes, and I fight to bite back my own. I cannot see her cry right now, I cannot let her break me. She remains silent, guilt and remorse reflected in her eyes. When she looks away, breaking eye contact, I finally know all I need to. She has been lying to me, she has been keeping my own child from me, and she has decided all on her own that I'd never know about our daughter. A sudden anger consumes me as I stand from the coffee table and before I can stop myself, I grab the wooden table and flip it, watching as the contents crash to the floor.

"Bosco!" Faith exclaims. I turn to see her standing from the couch, looking at me wide-eyed. Her expression is stunned, but I don't want her to be surprised by my actions. I want her to be scared, I want to show her how angry I am, all the rage that's been building up in me since the minute Cruz walked into that chapel.

"How'd you do it?—how'd you keep it from me for so long—without breaking? I mean, do you at least feel some guilt? Any remorse, any shame? Or am I so bad of a person that you didn't want me to be the father of your kid?" I snap, letting my anger control me, "how could you do this to me, Faith?"

She still doesn't say anything. She just looks at me with her wounded eyes. Instead, of making me feel bad for yelling at her, I find myself getting even more pissed off. She's not getting away with this lie, she crossed the line with this one. I step forward so that I'm standing right in front of her. As angry as I am right now, I still look down to make sure I'm not in any way able to hurt the baby. Faith stands her ground though even with me glaring at her. She even lifts her chin ever so slightly.

"Do you even feel sorry for what you did?" I ask, as I bite my lip hard, keeping myself from breaking down in tears.

"Of course I do—."

"But why'd you do it, Faith? I don't understand—how could you think it would be okay for you to keep me from my own daughter? How is that right, Faith? How is that benefiting to her, growing up without a father?" I watch her shake her head and I have a sudden urge to grab her right now, but instead I run my fingers through my hair and turn away from her. I walk forward a few paces before turning back to face her.

"And this crap about going back to Fred? That a lie too?"

"I needed a reason not to go to your wedding."

"So you get me angry with you? So what, you'd be able to live with yourself another day if you didn't have to see me so often? I hope it's been worth it, I hope this is eating you up inside, Faith. I hope you're feeling the pain I am right now."

"Of course I do! I'm hurting too, Bosco. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy!"

"How do you know what makes me happy? Didn't you stop to think that maybe I was happy with you? That I was happy knowing I was going to be the father of your baby?"

"Bosco, I thought..."

"No, Faith. You didn't think at all!"

"When I saw you with Grace, saw they way you smiled when you were with her, I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth. I wanted you happy with a life you've chosen not have to live the consequences one night between us lead to!"

"You never gave me a choice, Faith! You never cared enough to. It should've been my decision! Mine! I'm sick of you always deciding what's best for me. You should've told me the truth and let me—." I stop as the color drains from Faith's face.

"Bosc—." She utters before she falls forward into my arms.

"Faith!" I can't hide the fear in my voice as I catch her and bring her to a sitting position on the sofa, "Faith, what's wrong?" She looks so pale, so weak and my concern for her right now is overshadowing any anger and resentment I had only mere seconds ago as I look at her. "Faith?"

Faith's eyes grow wide as she looks at me, "Bos—I think my water just broke."


	11. Complications11

All I know is he better have a damn good explanation for this. I can't believe he just left like that. What did that nasty woman say to him? What can be so important that he has to leave his own wedding? It's been six hours since he left the chapel and a half-hour since he called me, telling me to come to Mercy Hospital. At first I was worried something might have happened to him, but when he said her name. I knew—I just knew she was the reason he left the chapel today. And she's the reason he left that poor girl in tears on the chapel steps. Even if he left because of Faith, he's still got a lot of explaining to do.

I'm gonna be honest, I've always liked Faith. And the fact that she takes care of my Maurice makes me like her even more. She's been a constant in his life for 13 years now, and for that I'll be forever grateful to her. I remember the afternoon Maurice called and told me he'd be stopping by with his partner so they could have lunch with me. I hadn't expected her to be a woman at all. Maurice had always referred to her as 'my partner' and I had always assumed his partner was a man. Especially since he'd never have anything but good things to say about 'his partner'. I know the man my son used to be, though nothing to be proud of, but he was Mr. Flavor of the Week Boscorelli. Women were nothing but escapades for him. But when he brought Faith over that one day, I knew she was different. He kept her in such high regard, it was unlike him, but I think his unwavering respect for her made me like her from the start. And I figured the only reason he hadn't pursued her romantically was because of that ring around her left index finger. My son may have been a playboy but he'd never get involved with a married woman.

But Faith hasn't been married for a while now and when Maurice first told me she was pregnant, my first thought was that I was finally going to be a grandma. It was such a happy thought, to think, me, a grandma?—grandma Rose. But it was too good to be true. I just remember watching him that night while he tried the best he could not to cry. My poor baby, he's the only thing I have left in this world—I held him close that night and cried with him. Seeing him in any kind of pain, is more than I can bear. I've never liked seeing tears in his eyes, I've always wanted to see nothing but a smile on his beautiful face, I've wanted what every mother wants for her son—happiness. I thought Grace gave that to him, but as I watched the two of them standing together at the altar, I couldn't help but notice the way his eyes kept wondering to the door. And when that woman interrupted the ceremony, everyone else's eyes were turned to her, but mine remained on my son. Anyone else would've only seen the anger in his eyes, but for a split second, I saw something else. I saw relief. And it was then that I realized his happiness was with someone else.

When I arrive at Mercy, Mary directs me up to the sixth floor where she says Maurice is waiting for me. I don't know why, but I'm nervous and at the same time anxious to see him. I'm still not sure why I'm here. But when the elevator doors open revealing the sixth floor to be the Maternity Ward, I finally realize Faith gave birth. It has to be the only explanation. I hurry around the corner to see a crowd of people sitting down in the waiting area. Many familiar faces from the wedding. Sasha is there; she smiles when she sees me.

"He's just around the corner, Mrs. Boscorelli." She tells me, pointing down the hall. I nod a 'thanks' and continue on my way. So the baby finally came, that's incredible news, I'm glad Maurice is here with Faith. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be anywhere else, I just hope Grace'll understand that.

"Maurice?" I call out, turning the corner to see my son standing a few feet away, his back to me. He turns at the sound of my voice and my eyes instantly land on the tiny person in a pink blanket he's holding in his arms. I feel tears instantly fill my eyes at the sight before me. I've never seen Maurice smile like this before. He approaches slowly, making sure not to wake the sleeping baby in his arms. But it's what he says next that starts the tears flowing.

"Ma—meet your granddaughter."

Ma's speechless as she stares at me, her eyes wide. "My—my—granddaughter?"

I nod, and I can't wipe this silly smile off my face. Ma steps closer, wiping a few stray tears from her cheeks. She's just as shocked as I was not too long ago. But now I can tell she's happy, so happy, and I can't begin to explain how good it is to see her smile. She leans forward and gently places a kiss on my daughter's head.

"She's so beautiful." Ma's eyes return to mine and she steps closer to place a kiss on my cheek, "oh—Maurice, baby, she's so precious."

"I know—I know. I can't believe it." I admit. I'm unable to take my eyes off this miracle right here in my arms. Holding her, it brings me a sense of peace I've never experienced before. I've never been this relaxed—hell, I've never been this happy in all my life. I can stay here and hold her forever.

"Have you found a name for her?"

"No—not yet, when Faith wakes—."

"How is Faith?" Ma asks. I look down at her, the sadness in my eyes betraying me. I don't reply, instead I lead her into Faith's room right behind me. I enter and place our little angel on the small crib next to Faith's bed. Then I take a seat next to Faith's bed and take hold of Faith's hand. Ma just stands at the foot of the bed, looking from me to Faith's sleeping form.

I breathe in deeply before I start, "things got pretty—um—complicated, during labor. After our daughter was born, Faith started to hemorrhage. Pretty badly, actually—and as I stood there—Ma, I thought I was gonna lose her." My voice cracks as Ma walks over and wraps her arms around me. I let it out, everything I've been holding in since my daughter was born. Tears of both joy and sadness soak Ma's jacket as I find myself clinging to her. "She's the reason I left today. She's the reason I couldn't marry Grace." I tell her, willing her silently to understand.

"I know, baby. I know." Ma says, tenderly holding my face. She doesn't judge, she doesn't scold me, she just holds me. I can't ask for anything else right now, but a shoulder to cry on. Get a grip, Boscorelli. Gotta pull it together. "It's gonna be okay, Maurice. It's gonna be alright."

I pull away from Ma and find myself staring down at Faith's still form. She's so pale, but the warmth is still there as I lace my fingers through hers, that's always a good thing. She's been stabilized for only a few hours now, but the doctors say she's gonna make a full recovery. I was so scared; it was a kind of fear I hadn't felt in a long time. Not since that hotel room two years ago have I ever felt more scared in my life. Right after the Nurse let me hold my daughter for the first time, Faith's heart monitor flat lined. The sound's still ringing in my ears. I remember going numb, watching as the doctors and nurses scrambled to bring her back to life. I couldn't even think as my eyes fell on her still body. In that moment I knew I loved her. Real love, a love even deeper than what I thought I felt for Grace. What I felt for Grace couldn't have been real because I was already in love with someone else and I didn't even know it. I can't even begin to imagine what I would've done if Faith hadn't pulled through today.

The more I think about Faith, the more I try to figure out when my feelings for her evolved. She'd always been different, always held a special place in my heart, a place no other woman before or after her could touch. I know one thing for sure though, I hadn't ever thought much about actually being in a romantic relationship with Faith, well, because she's been married for as long as I've known her. And then when she got divorced, did my feelings change then? I'm not sure, all I know is, that one night we had together was probably the most meaningful thing I've ever been a part of. I think it was then that I knew I was in love, but still I hid my feelings, burying it once again, deep down. If I couldn't even admit it to myself, how the hell was I gonna admit it to Faith? Then I met Grace, and she completely blew me away, she even made me forget for a little while that I was actually in love with someone else.

"Maruice?" I look up at the sound of my name, not believing what I'm seeing.

"Grace." I hear her name escape my lips as I stare up at her. She stands in the doorway, looking rather uncomfortable. At least she's not in her wedding dress, that would've made the situation even more uncomfortable. It would've reminded me more of how much of a jagoff I really am. She greets Ma and then asks to speak with me. Of course I agree because I feel bad enough for leaving her on our wedding day. I glance one last time at Faith before I lead Grace down the hall to an empty waiting area and we take a seat on the couch.

She looks down at her hands and this is my chance to just look at her. It's now that I notice the red and puffiness of her eyes. And my heart aches because I'm the reason she's in pain. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her pain, even if I don't love her like I thought I did, I know I care about her. She's been a huge part of my life for months now, and I was the stupid one who lead her on for so long. If only I had realized sooner how much Faith really means to me, I wouldn't have hurt Grace in the process. I feel so bad for what I've put Grace through.

"Look, Grace—I'm sor—."

"I know you are." She cuts me off, looking up to meet my eyes, "I just—I wanted you to know that I understand." Wow, that's so not what I expected to here. I thought she came down here to kick my ass or something, not make me feel worse for what I did to her. "I'm happy for you—and Faith."

"I didn't know the baby was mine, Grace, okay?—I didn't know—"

"Until it was too late, right?" She smiles sadly, and I see tears start to fill her eyes, "I just—I love you so much, but I know, I know I'm not the one you wanna be with. And now you have a beautiful baby girl—you've got a family now, Maurice. I came down here, I wanted to scream at you, I wanted you to hurt the way I am. I wanted to hate you, but I can't. And then I realized all I want—all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. And walking in there, seeing the way you were looking at her—I know you're happy—and it's not because of me." I tear my eyes from hers because her sadness is breaking my heart. But I know the reason she came down here, I know she wants closure. It's the least I can give her.

I take hold of her hands, surprised a little that she doesn't pull away. We just gaze at one another for a time before she slowly brings her hands to my face, leans forward, and ever so lightly brushes her lips against mine. She knows how sorry I am by just looking into my eyes. She knows I never meant to hurt her, she knows. She pulls away slowly and smiles softly. And in that moment I know that's the closure she needed.

"Bye." She whispers and as quickly as she appeared, she leaves. I sigh heavily as I walk back toward Faith's room. That actually went better than I thought it would. Boy, do I feel like shit right now. Ah, man. This is harsh, Grace just made me feel even more guilty than I already was. I look up just as Ma's coming out of Faith's room; her eyes immediately lock with mine.

"She's awake, Maurice. She's asking for you."

Thank God for hospital drugs. I really don't feel any pain, except for this slight headache. I take a moment to try and process everything's that happened. The last thing I really remember is—my baby! My eyes search frantically around the room until they land on a small crib next to my bed. Oh, my God. Is that her? Is that my daughter? I want to reach out and hold her, but I feel so weak. At least Rose helped me into a near sitting position, but I still can't reach my baby. Where did Rose go? I thought she went to call Bosco. Oh, Bosco. He'll never forgive me for lying to him for so long. I can't even forgive myself, it was such a horrible thing to do to him.

"Faith?" That can't be him. His voice is so gentle, so caring. He should be angry with me. He should hate me right now. I turn my eyes to see Bosco making his way into the room, looking quite eager to see me. When his eyes finally find mine, a warmth and relief seems to fill him as he smiles at me. "Hey."

I smile back, still unsure if his is genuine. "Hey," I reply as he sits next to me on the bed, immediately taking hold of my hand and kissing me on the cheek. What's going on?

"How you feeling?" He asks.

"Like I just had a baby." I say, getting a small chuckle out of him. He walks over and delicately lifts my daughter out of the crib.

"Well, here she is." He tells me, and I feel a tear slip from my eye as I gently take her from him. My beautiful baby girl. Our beautiful baby girl. I lean forward to softly place a kiss on her head. Bosco reaches out to wipe the tear from my cheek, and when I meet his gentle gaze, he smiles again. I still don't understand this sudden affection I'm getting from him. "What do you want to name her?"

Geez, I really didn't even think about that. But then again, I remember wanting to name her after a woman I knew, not too well, but I knew her well enough to consider her a friend. I never did have time to mourn her because I was too busy trying to regain the use of my legs. I just remember feeling very sad at the news of her passing. I was too weak to attend her funeral, I couldn't even honor her death. And I think maybe, naming my daughter after her would help me honor her memory. She was one of the 55, one of our fallen heros. She deserves to be remembered. And this way, I'll always remember.

"How about—Alex."

"Alex?" He looks down lovingly at our daughter. After a few seconds, he looks back at me and smiles, "it's perfect—Alex it is." I know he understands my reasons, and I know he respects them. I couldn't ask for a better man to be the father of my baby. I realize that now. "And maybe Rose for her middle name?"

"Alex Rose Boscorelli." I add, watching him, waiting to see his reaction. I smile, when I notice the tears that suddenly come to his eyes as he looks back at me. He doesn't have to say it out loud, but I can tell he's grateful. How could he expect her not to have his last name?

"What's wrong, Faith?" Bosco asks, noticing the sudden change in my expression. I hadn't even noticed I stopped smiling. Maybe it's too late for him to ever forgive me, but I have to at least apologize for lying to him.

"Bosco, about me keeping this from you—I—um—."

Bosco shakes his head, silencing me with a finger pressed gently against my lips. He takes carefully takes Alex from my arms and returns her to her crib. He's at my side a second later, "It's finished. We don't have to talk about it—I don't care anymore."

"But, Bosco—I lied to you, I—."

"And I'm telling you—I forgive you, okay? It doesn't matter, it's the past. My future is with you—and with our daughter."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, Faith—that—I love you. And I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life."

I know now without a doubt, that I love him too. More than I could ever imagine myself loving a man. He's my heart and soul. I know that without a doubt he's never gonna hurt me, he's never gonna leave me, he'd do anything for me because I feel the same way. I realized now why I kept that secret in the first place. I was afraid he wouldn't love me the way I've loved him for so long. I didn't even realize the intensity of my feelings until it was too late, he was already with Grace. But now he's not, now he wants to be with me. How'd I get so lucky?

My eyes never leave Bosco's as he leans forward, his fingers lightly touching my cheek. I close my eyes as his lips meet mine. And for the first time in my life I'm not afraid. No matter how bad, there is no complication we cannot overcome, as long as we're together.

The End


End file.
